Depression
Well… if I am on the autism spectrum, as I suspect, then it explains why I never fit in anywhere. And it also kind of dashes my hopes of *ever* fitting in anywhere too.
Depression
I don't mean to, but I obviously put people off, so that explains a lot of… things. And when I feel the slightest bit of social rejection I go and self-isolate so that doesn't help. And it's probably going to just keep happening.
Depression
I don't think I'm mean or rude or anything. I've experienced a lot of unkindness so I try not to be unkind to others. But I guess I'm also kind of weird and awkward no matter how hard I try not to be. I have a few friends but I'm very disconnected from them, especially since the baby was born. My relationships have become one-sided as I've shut myself off more and more.
Depression
I'm sure for some people it's easy to manage the reciprocity but I just… can't get it right. I don't know how to talk to people.
Depression
I know I have a tendency to take over conversations so I've just… not been talking about myself at all. I don't want to butt in at an inappropriate moment, or take over, or make something all about me, so I just… listen and be supportive and shut myself away.