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off-fedi subtoot 

"this word means this!" is not a description of your experiences, it's an assertion. if other people have seen it used a different way, that's not denying your lived experience, that's sharing their own as a counterexample.

for fuck's sake y'all, your experiences are not universal, and other people having different experiences does not invalidate yours.

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advice/personal experiences with feeling drained 

@Lioness i don't know if there's a way to increase your recharge rate for the type of work that you are doing / energy which has been lost

but what i AM able to do (to stave off the depression, which will otherwise slow everything down) is engage myself in other activities (maybe after a day of rest) which use different kinds of energy (not the emotional kind which is drained)

this might be playing games or watching anime, it might be listening to light music, it might be going someplace (which if you have the ability to just like, go to a coffeeshop and chill, i recommend it), it probably involves a lot of sitting and staring off into space with a coffee or tea

the idea is just to stay vertical so that your mind+body doesn't completely shut down while waiting for the parts of you that are drained to recover

then when they DO come back you can jump right back into what you were doing instead of having to build up stamina all over again

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Emotional labor 

I'm not here to gripe about definitions or anything. Just complain about how, a few times, I've seen people use the concept as an excuse to be a shitty friend lmao

Like they think that they have no obligation to put themselves emotionally into a relationship and be there for friends like, at least *a few* times.

It's an acknowledgement that emotional activity can be labor, it's not a free pass not to do it for people you care about.

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hmm i gotta get more fountain pens i think

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shoutout to the folks with more than one set of pronouns, with identities that don’t fit into a single phrase, who don’t have words to describe their experience. y’all are an essential and inseparable part of the gender diverse community and i love you.

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good: using y'all to refer to a group of people

better: using y'all to refer to a plural system

best: using all y'all to refer to several plural aystems

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someone on twitter (@HECKSCAPER) made a redesigned polyamorous flag and it looks so much better than the current one :blobbunmelt:

also her website is amazing heckscaper.com

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I found this yesterday. If both Neil's can have impostor syndrome, then yeah, there aren't any grown-ups. 💙
Source:
journal.neilgaiman.com/2017/05

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**i have updated this post with the developer’s correct name** Hey just found out about this cool app called Emergency Chat! It’s on App Store and google play, and is made specifically for when you’ve gone into a nonverbal anxiety attack. It was made by Seph “Persephone” De Busser, an autistic computer science student. You just open it, hand someone your phone, it shows this cool message and then you can communicate via the chat. It’s like texting kinda but you’re both on the same phone. Super handy, right? You can even customize the alert message. Download it if you think it’d be helpful 😊

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microfiction 

it took a long time to figure out what she liked best. everyone had preferences after all, so you tended to play with your form until you found one that made them extra comfortable

some preferred a strong being to protect them, it seemed, and some preferred something less threatening

with her, it always seemed she liked whatever form you shapeshifted into next more than the last, even when you repeated forms

it took a month or two to realize she just liked seeing all the parts of you she was allowed to see

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Autism, ableism 

I think it's weird that NTs think that autistic people can't communicate

My dad is probably where I got the autism genes from and I can understand his emotions very well and yet my (presumably NT) mum can't understand his emotions because he expresses them differently.

I can read my autistic girlfriend's emotions very well because I've talked to her and saw patterns between her feeling some way and her making a facial expression or doing a stim, which are also different to "normal".

I actually find reading emotions of autistic people easier, and they tend to understand me better too. Even if they can't read my emotions, they are more likely to ask or believe me if I tell them how I feel, even if my emotional reaction isn't "typical".

NTs aren't better at communication, they just communicate *differently*, and don't bother to learn how to communicate with anyone who isn't exactly like them.

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