work, still unsure if good or bad
In about eight hours I will learn if I still have a job. Honestly? I think I'm hoping the answer is No. The sudden loss of income and health insurance could pose a problem, though I think I have a good shot at unemployment, but the return of 12 hours of each weekday to myself and the vast amount of mental and emotional energy feels like it will be a net gain.
I've already begun the process of liquidating assets. In that headspace I can easily kick it up higher and get to the point I can fit everything that matters into a U-Haul trailer. If I need to, I'd be sacrificing a few things that do matter to me, but I could probably get it down to the point of fitting in just my vehicle. Either way, at that point I can uproot myself at last. Fire is essential to healthy ecosystems, clearing away the sick and stagnant.
I'm tired, so very tired, but feeling good.
re: work, still unsure if good or bad
One hour to go! HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS.
re: work, still unsure if good or bad
Uh...still employed, told I'm doing good work, told I need to have more confidence in the work I'm doing and the quality of it, just need to work on being more consistent in scheduling and communication.
I suppose this is good news but I'm just so fucking tired.
Need to talk to my therapist (and wrote down notes about this) to try and undo some of the "anything less than perfect means failure and worthlessness" thing.
