Oh geez, the next case has a figure with caption "Verbatim response of a patient who was asked why he urinated on three walls of his examination room"
The reason? He was "marking his territory."
That chapter also features someone spreading weed on a finger for pain relief (it didn't work, but they did let him keep the weed), an impromptu nose piercing with a bullet (don't run towards the gunshots!), a teen putting lemonade in a urine test cup ("the lemonade was sterile, and the pregnancy test was negative"), and quote "I'm not sexually active, I'm married" (which I'm not entirely sure how to interpret)
If this sorta stuff is what I have to look forward to doing EM, damn is it gonna be a wild ride.