Χίμαιρα corvids @autistikai@computerfairi.es

squaring the circle of "I want to fight assholes who suck until they're not a problem any more" and "I want to have sexually-charged fights with equally caped-up people, luxuriating in our elaborate set pieces and banter and just bein' gay together"

"Am I doing self-harm by doing this and need to stop, or am I coward if I back out and do something else?" - memoirs of a trans woman doing deep dives and examinations of transmisogynistic media and discourses.

Help I'm super gay

my girlfriend: you cannot be a weeb and a jock at the same time
me: yes you can
her: no you can't
me: you can multiclass
her: not with this
me: look, you can lift weights and read books at the same time
her: it's not about the reading books, it's about the contents of the books, you can't be a weeb while you're doing intensive physical labor
me: you can if you're a jock/weeb
her: that's not possible, there's been science done
me: cite
her: [laughing]
me: find me the study

I am too tired and sick to go into the full breadth of my thoughts, but speaking as a member of a bodily-PoC system who is becoming ever more weary of Westernization... please remember that DID, OSDD, the clinical, trauma-centric model of plurality, and to an extent, the rest of psychiatry

all of these are concepts largely created and dominated by white Westerners.

meanwhile, there are many non-white, non-Western cultures with their own concepts of manyness - many of which have been overwritten by the advance of "Western thought"

this does not mean that the clinical concepts are invalid or useless, or that people are bad for finding them helpful. but please be aware of what it implies, to claim that they can be the Only explanation (and that everyone who thinks otherwise is ignorant, malicious, fake, uneducated... "believing in fairytales.")

Their words:

"I think everyone's centered in their own reality, you know. I think part of the thing that's a problem, really, in the world today is this inability to acknowledge multiple realities, and this insistence that there has to be one dominant reality, and everything that falls outside that reality is false and untrue. And that's how colonialism worked in great part — people came in and enforced a reality and said, "Well, if you believe in anything else, if you believe in your indigenous deities, if you believe in these spiritual entities, then you're ignorant and you're backwards, and it's only because you haven't been educated by the West." And you know, there's this [thought that] everything that is outside the dominant reality becomes something that's pathological.

And with my work, I'm not really interested in trying to convince anyone to shift their center, I'm just refusing to shift mine."

{P} today, I saw a (diagnosed, to boot!) system get mocked and told they weren't a Real System because of their animistic spirituality, which influenced how they experienced their plurality

(to quote: "just because you believe in fairy tales doesn't mean we all do")

and all I could think of were the words of Akwaeke Emezi, who conceptualized their more-than-oneness through the lens of Nigerian spirituality