The robot paused in the middle of the safety questionnaire.
"Excuse me," it said, "this question is unclear."
"Oh? 'Are you worried about hurting people?'. Yes?"
"Does this definition of 'people' include cats and dogs?"
"Would you hurt them?"
"No!"
"Then it does. Also, you pass."
#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories
some malaphors I think about:
-we'll burn that bridge when we get to it
-if you can't stand the bull, get out of the china shop
-where there's smoke, there's mirrors
-fool me once, shame on you; teach a man to fool me, and I'll be fooled for the rest of my life
-come back to haunt you in the ass
-lets not beat around the dead horse
-beauty is in the eye of the tiger
-burning daylight at both ends
-apples to apples, dust to dust
-a stone in the hand is worth two birds in the bush
And not insignificantly, people use Schrodinger's irony to get away with shit online. A lot of stuff is a joke until it isn't, and a lot of the time it's half-true anyway. Your "ha ha just kidding amirite" is another person's plausible deniability.
If you're going to mock by impersonation, you have to do it in a way that isn't just asking that people put up with stuff they're already tired of. It's worth remembering, especially online where you could easily come off as just another obnoxious rando.
Soundcloud Alternatives
Right now, Audius and Metapop seems to be good alternatives to migrate to. Here I am in those platforms:
https://metapop.com/valerie-grimaude-valens
https://audius.co/freyamanibrandr
a bug, not a feature.
Genderless* cyberfae & co. at your service
assigned adult by the inexorable passage of time
don't use he/him or she/her pronouns for any of us without express permission
note that if we ever make you uncomfortable in any way please tell us so we know to stop. we're not always good at figuring these things out on our own