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effortlessly landing a triple salchow as I leap to evade the newest bull shit clogging my time line

McAfee software being named after John McAfee is like if McDonald's was named Hamburglar's, and the Hamburglar was a fugitive running both from the law, and for president

Got a real "I am Spartacus" thing going on today, except with a white guy whose avi is a headshot from LinkedIn.

I don't believe in the existence of Bryce Youngquists, for I have never seen one in person,,

An unexplored angle on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is that Willy Wonka is clearly a genius, the finest scientific mind of his generation, yet he focuses almost all of his efforts on manufacturing candy.
The temptation of big profits in the multimillion dollar candy-sector under the candy-capitalist system has drawn him away from more worthwhile pursuits and possibly corrupted him into the weird, weird dude that he is

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Just once I want a programming language to release some of their docs as a series of graphic novel tie-ins

name changing 

as someone who works on systems like this.

this problem doesn't happen because of a technical reason. there is zero reason whatsoever it should be technically difficult to change a field in a database.

it happens because adding any sort of functionality to software requires an investment of time and money. if you didn't design your system with that functionality in mind from the beginning (spoiler alert: they made the assumption that people changing their name is an "exception case" so they don't need to handle it in v1) then it will require a bigger investment. but you won't get it for free.

and every company that does not allow users to change those fields has looked at the cost/benefit analysis and decided that it is not currently worth it to make that investment. there are people whose job it is to do this. they made the choice. individuals, or groups of them. that's who i'm mad at.

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The worst thing to happen in 2019 was being told that people have continued making epic rap battle videos for the past 10 years?

We trust you have received the usual lecture from the local System
Administrator. It usually boils down to these three things:

#1) open the door
#2) get on the floor
#3) everybody walk the dinosaur

Stop with the fucking puns, Jo! 

An anime about the former lover of an impossibly fast hedgehog.

Sonic's Ex.

Before my egg cracked some rando told me I looked like Sean Lennon, a very non-latino cis man born at least 10 years before me. This tracks well with my ambiguous appearance in regards to age, race AND gender.

@dankwraith Passive attraction, programmed reaction
Action distraction, more information
Flesh saturation, lips on a napkin

Before I cracked my egg, I predicted that if I had born a cis boy, I would be a vain twink who ate too much, owned too many electronics, smoked too much weed and was constantly irritable, and I'm proud to say...I was mostly correct

Version Control Software (VCS) complaint 

every VCS: don't add binary files to your list of tracked files! It will make the size of your history-storage-folder explode!

also every VCS: *makes it really easy to accidentally add binary files to your list of tracked files*

also also every VCS: *doesn't provide any easy way to say "woops this file was a binary file and I should never have tracked it, please remove it"*

Martin Shkreli: emphatically not a short king. Banned from the short kingdom.

@Awizadofearthsea@sunbeam.city It's a campaign advocating separating trans people from the cis LGB movement, supposedly because we're two different and distinct groups with competing needs, but it's got a lot of money coming in from evangelicals. It's associated mostly with TERFs.

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!