Had a few suggestions for X forwarding through SSH, going to put this here rather than reply to everyone individually: unfortunately there are two problems making that not an option for me.
1) I don't have the weird proprietary vga dongle for the Vaio P so I can't hook it to a monitor, limiting me to a tiny screen instead of my nice three monitor setup for my main PC
2) more importantly, the Vaio P is just frankly an *absurdly* weak computer. It was weak 15 years ago it's weaker now. It's fine for terminal stuff and lightweight apps running Linux but even through ssh -X it can't cope with looking at a web browser. If it was stronger I'd just use it as is but for my day to day stuff I really just need a way to borrow its keyboard