thoughts on the q word
having a really hard time here lately with the word queer. i know that it upsets a lot of people for very valid reasons and that for a lot of people it’s still a slur but..... it’s how i identify. it feels so much more right than “bi” or even “pan” and it took me so much time to feel confident enough to finally identify as queer and it felt so so good to start identifying as that and saying it and claiming that word. so to feel like i now shouldn’t be saying it is.. tough
thoughts on the q word
@pbandkate I kind of hate this discourse as someone who has been hearing it for years and years. I will not give up queer; there is no substitute for me. nothing else fits. nothing else so perfectly encapsulates non-hetero, non-cis, non-normative identity in one word. nothing! the best I can do is agree to avoid using it around company that objects to it but they will not stop me from using it as an identifier for myself because it is such a huge part of "me" by this point.
thoughts on the q word
@leon yeah that’s exactly how i feel about it to. like i am so so so down to not use queer as a catch all term but yeah i think just walking that line of “when can i say this/when cant i” just has me in a weird headspace
thoughts on the q word
@pbandkate it is lucky that mastodon has content warnings so you can be conscious about at least tagging it when you suspect you will use it. as far as irl interactions go, I'm more than happy to refrain from it after the first time if someone tells me not to say it - but if they want to chastise me for that I think that's completely unreasonable.
thoughts on the q word
@leon
"queer is a slur" is almost always a sign of gatekeeping. Ask them how they feel about aspec or MOGAI peeps in the community and they'll show their true colors.
@pbandkate
thoughts on the q word
@leon
@pbandkate
They could be potential allies. I'm not saying people do this with full recognition of how bad it is. I'm saying there is a good chance they are holding reactionary beliefs. How you treat or feel about it is up to you.
thoughts on the q word
@danishcookies @pbandkate in my personal experience this is usually how it goes, yes, but nonetheless I think it is a good idea to at least be as conflict-avoidant with potential allies in struggle as possible - misguided though they may be - which is I think the fairest compromise I can muster.