transgender politics questions...
@Firstaide @Mephitidae personally, I'm in a situation in which basically nobody can just guess the right way to refer to me. I have to tell people explicitly, and even then, of course, mistakes as well as just not caring happen. So, over all, I am referred to in a wrong way more often than not. I'm used to it and I can't change it, but it still hurts. That's just the way it is.
transgender politics questions...
@Mephitidae @Firstaide That also means that I'm very emotionally moved when people use the right name, pronoun or in some other way don't misgender me.
However, in situations in which I'm used to this good feeling, it hurts even more when the opposite happens. That's not terrible. Hurting people by accident happens, I know that. But well, it still feels bad. It doesn't mean that the other person shouldn't have talked to me at all!
transgender politics questions...
@Firstaide @Mephitidae For me, it is a lot about the way these mistakes are handled.
My favourite way, that can even reduce the ouch to almost zero, is this: Say "sorry", repeat your sentence with the correct word (or just say the right word by itself), and continue the conversation.
For me, both ignoring the mistake completely and making a big deal out of it (wordy apologies/justifications etc) make things awkward, so this is perfect.