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suddenly dawning on me the questioning if the toy gun i found buried in tar when i was 6 was actually a toy
also remembering when i went with my dad to the bank (prob about 4 or 5) with a different toy gun (with an actual orange muzzle) and a police officer who was there took me aside and told me to not go in with it or "he'd have to use his" and showed me his real gun in his holster
anyway fuck guns
there's probably a good reason why i don't remember having it for more than a few minutes after showing it to my parents