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@bri_seven@queer.party fitting in was never so much a goal as it is something i yearn for to be happy with myself
i'm a social creature. i've been left with nothing but my own devices for almost 3 decades. i want to be pestered. i want to be a part of something.
@bri_seven@queer.party envy and rsd suck. i'll never be free of them and venting is the only solace i have
@bri_seven@queer.party being adjacent but not part of groups and cliques and just sitting on the outside looking in triggers my rejection sensitivity heavily and i need to carefully curate my feed of most sources of that. which ends up in me isolating myself more, the irony is not lost on me, but it's how i've survived so far.
i don't know what i need exactly. but i know what i missing and i cry about it a lot