i have written a post. it's long, entirely personal, and it makes me feel very vulnerable.
on socialization, social media and emotional maturity, or: how i learned to stop worrying and become the change i wanted to see in the world
@mavica_again I’m on a journey to find the joy in the things I used to love (e.g. music, photography, games). A lot of it has involved moving away from tech or platforms I think killed my joy (e.g. phones, streaming). Some of it involves experimenting with things I’ve never had the opportunity to experience (your projects with gameboy-inspired filters and processing come to my mind in that regard). I really admire your creativity and it makes me want to keep working on resurfacing mine as well.
@anna i found that forcing myself to make even the smallest, most inane of posts on my forum, has put new ideas on things to do in my head. i've yet to find the time to spend on working on them, but at least they're written down somewhere now
@mavica_again read the above blogpost and this thread and i feel like i can relate to this heavily, thank you for writing this
@esm i'm really glad it's resonating with more people, thank you for reading it
@mavica_again
I have a similar experience. I've taken a huge step back from any kind of mainstream platform, or even devices, and honestly my life's been better for it.
I engage more with mastodon than I've engaged with any kind of social community online in a long time. I've also started to get back into forums too.
I've taken to calling the non-social media internet the "outernet," and the vibes on this side are very reminiscent of the time when we were all weirdos and outcasts on here.
@mavica_again I think we need to draw a hard distinction between the mainstream internet and the outernet to have a healthy engagement with it again.
@bibbs i've heard it as "small web" or "indie web" but it just doesn't feel like a really... contiguous thing to me?
not that i think the distinction is a bad thing just i don't feel it does much in the grand scheme of things
not sure what kind of online place i'm in that i could call a "home". maybe my group chat of 3 (active) friends? it's the only place i felt like i could reliably start and take part in conversations. only recently is there barely enough converation between other people for it to feel like a place and not just me messaging whoever looks at it
@mavica_again this rules and I agree. I also never really got what I needed to socialize and now that I'm left with no community and the need to actually find one again without anything to really jump off from, I've actually had to sit back and go "well how do I make friends with people?" especially since we're in the age of everything resembling a community being shunted off behind closed doors.
also relating to the need to commit to something different too. I've been meaning to comment on stuff I like more often. consider this a trial run lol
@eblu i'm glad it strikes a chord with people other than me, that helps me feel less like i'm isolated in my thinking
@eblu (and, lesbiaboard is right there, just saying ^^)
@mavica_again I might consider at least lurking! feels a little awkward being there as a cis aroace because that's the source of endless "is this guy actually part of the community or just a prude" debates but I do appreciate a good forum
@mavica_again also shoutouts to it loading near instantly. that's a luxury in this day and age
@eblu it's what happens when you use php software from 2005
Are only trans lesbians allowed?
No! The creators of this board are transbians and wanted to make a space for more people like them, but we welcome any likeminded people who would like to join <3
lesbiaboard started in 2018 with a much more pointedly "target audience" and now it's more like "shit man i just want people to vibe with"
@mavica_again you have always been good at crystallizing and presenting a coherent view of "this is what it's like to be me", for all the different values of "me". this post feels like many voices speaking as one about an internal tension that drives you. it's both deeply personal and extremely relatable. thank you for writing it.
@Angela your feedback and encouragement allowed me to 💜
i feel like people don't take it seriously enough when i say that my life is online and think i'm just being cute
the internet was never a tool or a distraction for me
the internet is my home and my home is being taken over and destroyed
that is perhaps another blog post i should write