im at mcdonalds. i think everything is going well. but then everything falls silent. people are looking at me. some of the lights switch off. the employees scuttle to the back of the restaurant. after an unbearable pause, the manager comes forward, with an pained expression, keys jangling, urgent footsteps. he won't look me in the eye. he quietly clears his throat.

"Sir — the burger you have requested is possible... but very hard."