Emily @nachobra@computerfairi.es

hap year. i always find myself coming here when im in the midst of dysphoria i guess out of a need for ppl who understand & even though i feel like theres so much i need to say i cant find the words. i still carry so much goddamn shame, im ashamed for wanting to be a girl im ashamed for not being trans enough im ashamed for being here & existing this way

im feeling better 2day so better in fact that heres a pic of me right now! approximately!!
https://computerfairi.es/media/GaDFxW7Uqr6Ipcs9NUM

hey why cant i be a cute girl 🔪🔪🔪🔪🛀🏻🔌⚡️⚡️🌊⚰️ i cant look at ppls selfies without wanting to die fyytfdghhhhhfdfyg

i guess im better now i showered & said kind things to myself

im like just gritting my teeth trying to be calm & not explode & just break things

goddd im so worried about slipping back into a depressive cycle i just cant look at myself without obsessing over how disgusting my face is

idk my mental healths improved the past few months re: depression but yknow turns out i can still be sad & a crap. i cant wait to go togroup therapy tomorrow & have nobody connect with what i say

its 1:30am im crashing from a ritalin high & ive been having the worst dysphoria about my face i just hate it its so wrong & i just remembered i have this app & i just need to know somebody somewhere understands these feelings

stream over now :( wanted to go longer but my neck is killing me. also idk when best streaming time is for ppl

streaming soon, come & join while i set this sh** up picarto.tv/nachobra

heloo i will be streaming me drawing the next page o' my comic tonight @ 6pm central time, picarto.tv/nachobra , pls drop in & say haldo

heya if i was to do a comic drawin stream sayyyy this sunday eveningish would anyone be interested in watching it ? ?

i posted this on uh, the "bird site" (?) earlier & i thought i would here too. i read a r/asktransgender thread that kinda floored me & just kinda had this fall out of me in a fit of dysphoria & tears but i think ive kinda had an epiphany of sorts 😌
https://computerfairi.es/media/sXHrlFRMIzojUH1Jg-o
https://computerfairi.es/media/ufUv6761y7N6a1yc92o

can i say "terfs deserve to die" here w/o being banned ? if so, then yes, terfs deserve to die.

my brain decided instead of being happy i will just get really deprezzed about gender 👌🏼

also everyone here seems to be a programmer & im sorry but i dont know the first thing abt linuxes. i can hardly tell a 1 from a 0, folks

i dont have anything to post rn so enjoy this pic of me where i look kinda hot
https://computerfairi.es/media/Wxm_ugQVtg7O2h0cI4U

hi i got this thing idk its like twitter w/o nazis i think? thats cool. idk what or how anything is tho so help a sister out PLOX