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someone should create a spoon bank for those of us in need of silverware

it is the year 2022. the #Fediverse as we know it has been crushed on the anvil of the Toot! Crisis, and in our moment of weakness, the Corporations took control. the Fediverse has been divided into the following bitterly opposed factions:

• Amazon Elastic Mastodon Service
• Google Cloud Mastodon
• Microsoft Azure Mastodon
• Microsoft Xbox Live Mastodon
• Microsoft Visual Mastodon
• Microsoft Visual Mastodon Code (actually Pleroma)
• Microsoft Office Mastodon 365 (actually SharePoint)
• Microsoft Office Mastodon 365 Enterprise (actually SharePoint, SOX- and HIPAA-certified)
• Apple iMessage (can be used to talk about the Fediverse, but not to it, and only with other Apple users)

war between them is unceasing. features are added and removed with every passing day. DMs and audio posts still do not work properly.

quasi-lewdish shitpost 

@scarly bunnies need food, sleep, material goods, and lots of sex, basically

bunnies are easily startled and need very carefully maintained environments to have happy lives.

meanwhile, crows are cantankerous, mischievous, and can be gloriously feisty. i mean... a group of crows is called a murder for crying out. loud.

mine is a match made in heaven.

my poor @Chel. i think i aged her today.

me: imma fight Everyone today

chel: oh come on

me: *all the fights*

chel: :gBunny:

trans nonse 

why they say people can't just stop being trans: trans folk were made this way and it's an immutable thing that can't be changed
why people really can't just stop being trans: once you start being honest with yourself, you can't just go back to telling yourself lies again

@Chel is the single most patient and forgiving person that i've ever met, lol

animals that are unlikely to be considered cute but i consider them cute:

o slugs - they're actually slimy and cute so that's pretty cool

o alligators - how can you not love an animal that's always smiling!?

o ants - always so hard at work! and they wiggle their antennae sometimes too

o bees - there was a meme about this at some point tbh, bees are pretty cute. also bees have knees, pass it on

o dinosaurs with teeth - dinosaurs are cute af, actually lots of people probably agree with me tbh

@scarly throw them into a dumpster fire and then throw the dumpster fire into some molten steel

today's lesson is that cishet white men will always be considered correct regardless of broader context

someone pls, send me cute cat pictures, i need some brain bleach from the drama, hahaha

mastodon meta (fairly important) 

@scarly @jaz @Gargron man, dudes just can't stay the fuck away from this thread, can they? 🤷

I'd be boosting more stuff if people used CWs more

mastodon meta (fairly important) 

@scarly
Goddamn it.

I'm sure this is yet another thing filed in "Could have been a really good ecosystem, but *sound of something fragile being dropped*"...

😕

subtooting 

no really if you're going to disagree with something i write, characterizing it as "this is absurd" is probably the least effective form of argument possible

mastodon meta (fairly important) 

gargron is now on record as saying that the mastodon api is only for mastodon

mastodon.social/@Gargron/10148

what this basically means is that the mastodon ecosystem of apps, helpful tools, etc will only ever be reliably compatible with mastodon with the rest of us jumping through hoops to try to reverse engineer it

so, in summary, a community that is allegedly federated actually does have an avenue through which one platform can control it. just fact.

makes u think?

Hi I'm not ace but ace people are :valid: and if you are an acephobe please unfollow me thanks

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!