solar bear ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ @solar@computerfairi.es

ive been home from work for an hour now and I haven't even checked on my tamagotchis... what a pathetic father am I...

you liked my mutuals toot... and you didn't even like mine?! *my eyes turn red and I bare my teeth and snarl*

my girlfriend and a good chunk of my friends work at starbucks and I love hearing about all the stupid shit that goes down there... some dude dropped his pants full willy out in the cafe today btw

hey sorry i can't come into work today i forgot i had a playdate scheduled and it's reeaalllyyy important

toots I need to show my gf...

pooping at work #ontheclock

I lost my new kaworu tamagotchi at my girlfriend's house and im so sad thinking about my tamagotchi all lost and alone and starving I feel like an absent father

girls will see something smelly and be like "hey are you gonna smell that or can I get at it?"

every girl i know loves armpits

grock was there for me when no one else was #grock #grockwarrior #iremembergrock

all the transmasc gays being like "OMG ME 😍😍😍😍 I NEED TO GO TO AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL!! YAOI PARADISE ✨" meanwhile the second someone who is not a cis boy enters an all boys school they'd start to cry because youd get called a slur almost immediately and your eyes would start watering from the lack of deodorant in these dudes armpits

pooping at a party

im going to a party hosted by some girl I hate tomorrow simply because my other friends are going... and they're gonna smoke me up 😈