An Englishman in a pith helmet strides into an indoor mall, looking around in satisfaction. "Ah! The unexplored wilds. I will call this place Hastings, after my dear friend."

A mallgoer pauses. "Sir, you're in--"

"New Hastings! A wild and uncivilized land for us to explore and uplift!"

A small crowd has gathered, a mix of nervous and amused. A security guard approaches. "Sir, you're causing a disturbance."

"I claim this land for England!"

An English army suddenly charges through the doors.