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Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

"They say that a dog is a man's best friend

They also say that a diamond is a woman's best friend

But my friend is non-binary

So I got them a pet rock"
~ Benny Feldman

In the future, all that remains from our time is advertising jingles

History lecturer: We still don't know what these creatures known as "wa-shing masheens" were and why they should survive longer in the presence of someone or something named "cal-gon"

AMAZON. Go to your room and think about what you've done.

I used to live with an Australian so whenever I hear the word "milo" I immediately think "delicious chocolate" and then 99 times out of 100 I'm disappointed to learn it's actually referring to that yiannopolous prick

watch nerdery Show more

uspol adj Show more

I'm a blanket octopus

Not of the species blanket octopus, I'm just a regular common octopus who happens to hand out blankets all the time

The months have been renamed sorry I don't make the rules

June = Pride Month
July = 2nd Pride Month
August = 3rd Pride Month
September = 4th Pride Month
October = Spooky Pride Month
November = 6th Pride Month
December = 7th Pride Month
January = 8th Pride Month
February = 9th Pride Month
March = 10th Pride Month
April = 11th Pride Month
May = 12th Pride Month

Thanks to UKClimbing.com I had a database of over 427k rock climbing routes to feed to a neural network. It did pretty well. aiweirdness.com/post/175339699

german is easy:

vehicle? drive thing

plane? fly thing

drum kit? hit thing

tools? work thing

D&D session where you're all mimics trying to murder the party of adventurers that are carrying you around without arousing the suspicion of any of them

How To Host Your Own Email: A Guide Show more

:thaenkin: do I want some anomalous garden furniture?

hot take Show more

The standard has a theoretical max capacity of 128TB

Yes, 128 TERABYTES. In an SD card

uspol, scotus Show more