me, as an army officer:

"we've noticed you're requisitioning a tank for every single operation you're on, despite none of those operations even remotely requiring a tank"

"yep"

"...why?"

"tanks have kettles built in"

"...YOU'RE USING SEVERAL MILLION POUNDS WORTH OF MILITARY HARDWARE JUST SO YOU CAN HAVE A CUP OF TEA?!?"

"yes."