vik🐸 @viklenae@computerfairi.es

maybe i will drink acid tonight. maybe not.

i’m sleepy and i’m gonna take a nap on the shelf in the stock room with my head on a packet of charcoal swabs. if someone’s swab is a bit squished that’s just the way it’s gonna have to be.

there’s nothing going on at work and usually i’d clean the machines because i’m really motivated at night but i’m really not feeling this shift. i wanna be in bed. with girls 😭.

this conversation happened because he’s nice enough to be concerned about my girlfriend (who he’s never actually met), after picking me up for work multiple times from another girls house.

(he regularly drives me to work because he’s a legend and i hate walking)

“i don’t understand all this polyamorous stuff but if you’re happy, i’m happy” - my dad, who up until now has kept quiet about my ✨lifestyle✨

it was a sweet moment. immediately followed up with “but you don’t half make things complicated for yourself.”

i mean, he’s not exactly wrong?

reject the flesh embrace slime

🫶🏻sex so good your legs twitch afterwards🫶🏻

does this happen to everyone or am i weird?

@etepan most cursed thing you’ve ever said to me

“the precum is good for my throat”

i’ll be the cat plushie if you’ll be the hoover

@alspals if a chair has no back to lean on I hunch over the table for some reason (and then complain that my back hurts for the rest of the day)

I want to go to one of those places where they let you hire a cute little boat and row it along a river but I have no arm strength or coordination and I would definitely crash the boat 😭

lmao I cleaned the flat last night and just got a call from my friend asking if I put her lovense away somewhere (I did not). love the knowledge that there’s a stray buttplug somewhere in my room.

elf bars can stay but vapes that aren’t usable whilst you charge them should be illegal

I truly believe I can do anything (except maintain a regular sleep schedule)

night shifts have made me invincible

@valerieleona@mastodon.social it would be hot and you should do it for that reason alone

just saw a customised numberplate and it made me want to cry even harder