🥭 @void@computerfairi.es

i, however, would quite literally die for thar one friend who did read and talks to me about my ocs on the regular

its making it kind of hard to write anything, and now im stressed about like. being too unmotivated to finish any part of the project, the way i haven't finished literally any other independent creative project in my life, because im a really shitty artist

this is such an unfair thing to be upset about but i just. really want more people to pay attention to my ocs. having friends online as a teen had primed my brain to thrive exclusively on validation and the fact that ive had 6 people offer to read the thing and exactly one of them follow through and actually engage with me about them is upsetting- like if i were just being ignored that would be one thing, but i feel like ive annoyed everyone into disengaging out of spite or something

im not tired enough to sleep but too tired to do anything. usually id be lurkscrolling on twitter but social media is a hell pit rn so

also twitters being fucky so im back here. hi.

this was last night im just still mad about it

hey why the fuck is literally nothing in missoula open past 11. /myersville/ has a 24 hr mcdonalds and our population is like fifteen people and some cows this is an actual city what the fuck

i have 6 percent more battery to panic then i have to. i dont know.

i have so many things to do that i cant do them and am just walking in circles instead

wait why does it look like this what the fuck

maria and aspen have definitely casually hooked up before. their takeaways were that maria is definitely a lesbian and aspen is definitely more into men, but they both had a good time

the dream i expected it to be super awkward and for us to still not really get along but they greeted me like they were super excited to see me and we basically picked right back up where we left off when we were at our closest.

i woke up really sad

i had a dream about wandering through a large thrift store with my wife that turned out to have a pop up museum exhibit that was just a history lesson on some of the cooler items theyd gotten over the years. it started with a quick lecture overview and while we were waiting it turned out a bunch of my friends, both from college and high school had also heard about it and wanted to check it out by pure coincidence. this included several people who ive long since lost contact with, and in

they accidentally help a lot of people in a desire to not blow their cover and at some point someone points out that they're a good person and they obviously deny it but besides being kind of a dick they can't pull up any instinces that contradict this in the last decade and spend the next week being like "?????????"

basically they had to assume a false persona after they faked their death and they intentionally crafted one that was distant but low key- basically they tried to fake being who they were if they didn't have weird bullshit with their family and weren't completely morally bereft, and they did a good enough job that it's basically overtaken their "real" identity, and if they tried to go back to how they were before they probably wouldn't get very far.

they project themself as a dry emotionless asshole who is intentionally abrasive and has no friends. but underneath that cold exterior, is a person who burnt down their family's house with fifteen people inside to avoid getting charged with the seven murders they committed.

but underneath /that/ they're pretty chill.

i neeeed to properly include antimony in something because i love them

hes also technically catholic but exclusively marian, and has never been to church. thats just like cult stuff though which is a bit more normal in context

it makes for some really weird interactions when he moved in with the rest of his group

he had minimal formal education and everything else was just what he was curious enough to look up on the internet and what was important enough to him to make an effort to remember