me to people who don't play ffxiv: look at how many fucking katanas zenos has
them: they're there for if his friends need any!
me:
me: *inside of them
cw for me being fucking awful
@falsestars listen. we all know that zenos has a dick that is in tatters, because not only does he violently fuck his golf bag full of swords, he probably does so *multiple times a day*. It's Just Fact. it's the only logical conclusion we can make from 1. zenos, 2. zenos has a golf bag full of swords. it's gonna be in the next encyclopedia eorzea; yoshi-p told me so
nsfw, ffxiv
this is absolutely canon and i cannot wait until zenos lovingly and painfully using his golf bag of swords as a fleshlight is mentioned in his chronicles of light exclusive short story
nsfw, ffxiv
@falsestars it's going to come up in a 45 minute long cutscene where elidibus is just like "UH, NO! THIS IS *MY* BODY NOW! I SAW HOW YOU'VE BEEN MISTREATING THIS COCK! FOR ZODIARK'S SAKE, YOUR FORESKIN IS IN ABSOLUTE RIBBONS" as elezenos chases him
anyway the duty is when zenos's dad mr emperor turns to the warrior of light and goes "for the love of fuck please just kill me. i can't stand witnessing any more of this. please." and the WoL nods stoically in agreement
