[fade in, inside of a catholic confession booth]

priest: yes, my child?

me: well, this is my first time here, i'm not sure how this goes...

priest: do not worry, you are free to speak here, go ahead -

me: ok great! i was wondering if i could get this call upgraded to a supervisor, i have some concerns

priest: um

me: i really need to speak to engineering because this 'rotator cuff' feature is entirely too complicated, and this unit sold to me violated Connecticut's 'lemon law' as per -