wigglytuff whining re: identity and fetishization
i know as a cishet woman, i get off so lightly compared to many, many, many, many others
but as somebody who is fat
" my 'true' self is going to be constantly caught up in the barbed wire of porn"
caught up in the barbed wire of porn. oof. OOF. that is a PHRASE and a HALF. that CUTS TO THE FUCKING QUICK OF THE MATTER, DOESN'T IT.
wigglytuff whining re: identity and fetishization
i know it varies widely but damn, i feel this.
it is why porn of fat women is such a minefield.
i just want women to be shown as beautiful and desirable *and also be fat*.
instead, i get a lot of specific fetishes. inflation. feeding. so on.
and it's... so easy to feel disrespected by that. if i am nothing more than a fulfillment of a fetish to someone, they have no incentive to relate to me as a human being.
wigglytuff whining re: identity and fetishization
i realize this is something that a lot of women are far more used to. they've had since middle school to develop how to cope.
but if you're fat, you become invisible and off the market in many respects in daily life.
i still don't know what to do with the idea of potentially being sexually attractive to someone. i REALLY don't know what to do with the idea of being somebody's fetish fulfillment.
wigglytuff whining re: identity and fetishization
so stuff like that ends up being so often a roller coaster of beginnings of hope and then me getting smashed right back down again.
i'm sexually attractive, but only if i can play up someone's gluttony and feeder fetish. i'm sexy, but only because they can pretend it's inflation porn and take photoshop to my tits to make them into balloons. i'm wanted, but only for one aspect of myself. and no more.
wigglytuff whining re: identity and fetishization
this is aside from how many of these fetishes for fat people seem to depend on those negative connotations. people are into it because of the *shame* of sleeping with someone like me. because someone like me is *slovenly*. because someone like me is *disgusting*. because loving someone who looks like me is inherently *humiliating*.
wigglytuff whining re: identity and fetishization
and i guess it's just hard to manage that and the desire to be seen as a whole person, and to be *loved* as a whole person.
i just want to someday be loved for my gestalt entity, for the sum of my parts, not just for one facet.
and i am really tired of the overwhelmingly cishet male gaze that views me as only worth talking to for that one aspect, and the rest of my entire self as wholly expendable and ready to be discarded.