and now, a star wars headcanon that got sad pretty quick
anakin skywalker as a padawan was remarkably good at keeping secret food stashes
this eventually only came to light because obi-wan was thinking he was just staying up late at night to eat (no he was doing other shit like tinkering with mechanics and happened to be hungry) and/or obi-wan got frustrated at the messy state of his padawan's room and went WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING ALL OF THESE TWINKIES????????
and now, a star wars headcanon that got sad pretty quick
of course, obi-wan and others in the jedi order largely dismissed it as "teenage boy going through one fuck of a growth spurt" because, well, when you're growing to "pretty good pick for the basketball team" height, that happens
one of the lunchroom ladies at the jedi temple fussed at obi-wan shaming him for not feeding his padawan enough, and that was about as close to the problem as anyone ever came to addressing it
and now, a star wars headcanon that got sad pretty quick
said lunchlady also at least noticed that anakin wasn't stealing, but rather sifting through garbage, etc. for these extra snacks, and while not persuading him to just ask for more, did at least start making it a lot easier on him to grab the just-barely-out-of-date nutrition bars etc. as they supposedly went out in the trash
and now, a star wars headcanon that got sad pretty quick
but
as per usual for the jedi order
nobody went "hm, d'you think this former slave kid's deep-rooted food insecurity might be a sign of any larger mental struggles he has?"
there were some vague assurances that the jedi always feed their own, with some frustrated light shaming that anakin would even worry (fear leads to the dark side you know!) about something so trivial
but that was it
and now, a star wars headcanon that got sad pretty quick
his mother had been the one he'd grown up seeing making food stashes
for a long while it seemed miraculous how his mother always seemed to be able to pull something out of thin air, from some hidden place, when he was hungry
maybe it was stale, or tasted a bit funny, or you cut away the mold, but it was food
and now, a star wars headcanon that got sad pretty quick
it took anakin much later to notice how often that food was exclusively for him, and how his mother was quick to say she just wasn't hungry
sure, the jedi order reassured him that there would always be food
sure, obi-wan reassured him that there would always be food
(if, the unstated statement went on, if he was good)
but anakin knew better
he always did.
and now, a star wars headcanon that got sad pretty quick
and in the empire
he forgot.
it was just one more way anakin skywalker forgot himself.
a tamed dog forgets how to hunt. he might chase down a squirrel for fun, but he doesn't know how to hunt caribou. why should he? he knows dinner is what his master puts in his bowl.
the tamed dog sometimes is forced to forget, even, because its master wants it compliant.
the emperor knows pain makes a good leash. and hunger is pain.
and now, a star wars headcanon that got sad pretty quick
(and so now you know why the first chapters of masquerade are vader standing up trembling and going -
"oh fuck, i don't have my support network"
and after the horror
comes all the *excitement*, comes the *thrill*
"i don't have them anymore! I DON'T HAVE THEM ANYMORE!"
because the tame dog can remember what it was like to hunt once he slips his lead and is in the woods far away from the master who kicks him.)
and now, a star wars headcanon that got sad pretty quick
anakin, being a pretty fucking savvy ex-slave, knew that kind of talk
the jedi didn't remind him of slavers all the time, but it was very much an echo of a troydarian gripe that he shouldn't have to worry about food, it would be provided -
IF he and his mother did their jobs
IF.
and if they didn't, well...