@debugninja@banana.dog paradoxically, much he same way you make real friends offline
tbh i feel like a shared interest/social sphere is key. it's like, again, irl. think about how you make friends there - join a volunteering club, talk to your co-workers at lunch break, etc.
it's hard to get hold of at first bc i feel like (especially in america) we live with those social circles decided *for* us for so long - your school grade, who you have classes with, college dormmates - it can be overwhelming.>
@debugninja@banana.dog but really that activity/interest to create a social sphere and social interaction is key, and it's something very much doable online as well.
most of my real friends have come from online spheres. i was far closer to my first real friend that i made online in middle school than i was any of my classmates. through the miracle of understanding parents, we actually got to meet irl when she came to visit while i was in 8th grade. >
@debugninja@banana.dog we still keep in touch and she actually met her future wife in the same spot she met me - on a roleplay forum i was running.
i met my best friend much the same way, but after talking a lot in WoW we had the enormous luck to figure out that we were mere hours from each other, in the same state, so met up quickly. and it's been amazing since!
real friendship requires real social interactions, really reaching out - and that means being vulnerable, which is terrifying in a lot of ways.
@debugninja@banana.dog it definitely takes effort, and i'm not going to lie, it's definitely scary.
but that's the paradox of relationships. to make real connections you have to open yourself up to being hurt, but that's the only way those real connections also get made. one can only accept that this may happen, be brave, and know that good still exists and can be found.
...also sorry if this was a shitpost and i just wrote you a fucking novel whoops,,,,,,,
@debugninja@banana.dog but as much as it's tricky to do online - there's genuine bad actors, it's a lot easier to lie, etc. - i actually think that in some respects it's easier for some people to find true friendship here.
you can much more easily find a social sphere aligned to your interests - instead of just "whatever is popular in your immediate area" - and you can do that revealing-of-true-self in stages, because that's common practice for basic online safety.>