aha, there we go, talked to a mod and got an explanation that phbb forums are notoriously difficult on any mention of anything that may hint of piracy, including downloading abandonware.
but, guide up again! on the remaining nexus of petz fandom! http://petzforum.proboards.com/thread/66307/overview-windows-petz-play-nicely
just you know with step zero of "acquiring petz 5" replaced by me doing the linguistic equivalent of looking straight at the camera and giving a big ol' wink #petztalk
@InspectorCaracal LOL yes, i admit i'm nicely mollified now that the mod explained they'd left a message for me but then had to run out so had to nuke the thread because the risk of the phbb overlords seeing it while they were out was sadly too high. i do wish they'd gone to pm me instead but they were able to grab the post for me so i didn't even have to re-bbcode it, which was nice!