@Wewereseeds@sunbeam.city not that i know wtf is going on here, just strolling by, but i think this may actually be a strategy that is backfiring on you.
like how sarcasm in tone can get lost in the purely-text-based internet, so can genuine kindness and understanding versus false sweetness.
it ends up quickly reading as patronizing and superficial, especially when further discussed in a tactical way. if it's a stratagem, and you talk about it as such, it reads as superficial instead of sincere.
@Wewereseeds@sunbeam.city and to be quite honest, this plus your comments with this spirit of "well i have no idea why everyone is mad at me" - well, you might have good points, but it makes you very hard to trust. if comments where you make yourself out to be the victim are right by what is next to positivity, on the same subject, it makes those positive words read as superficial, if not patronizing, insincere, or - ironically - sarcastic.
@Wewereseeds@sunbeam.city to put it more bluntly, if you're expecting to have an adult conversation with people, cooing like a preschool teacher about how "hello stranger, so glad you came in with your outside voice, i hope you find happiness" sabotages your goal. it ends up just reading as a put-down. "hello, idiot. thanks for coming to yell at me, motherfucker, i'm writing an essay so i can expose YOU, too. by the way, i'm just going to mention that i'm fucking enlightened here, not like you plebs."
@Wewereseeds@sunbeam.city if you are using "i'm writing an essay about you" in a way that sounds like a threat, in response to using someone's post as an example of some bad behavior you want to highlight - without letting that person know ahead of time, or giving them any sort of indication, just leaving a nasty surprise for them - while making yourself out to be a martyr, with a side order of "see this is why i can't be here with you meanies" flounce...
i'm not sure why you're surprised here.
@Wewereseeds@sunbeam.city less toxicity is a good goal. but it also requires humbly admitting your own mistakes and toxic behavior.
if you have this going on - and the person you singled out for harsh critique is the one saying "actually i'm not cool with this still" while you are saying "well i apologised and all is well", to boot - i'm not sure why you are surprised that you're getting 'misunderstood', here.
it might be a good time to also consider that you are perhaps not such a victim here, too.
@Wewereseeds@sunbeam.city it would have been easy to talk in generalities and not single one person out for harsh critique - or it would have been easy to ask them "hey, i'd like to talk about this topic. do you have input? is it ok if i use some of your content this way?"
people are getting mad at you for "screenshot dunking" because, well, even if that wasn't your intent, you still managed to do it, and hurt people because of it.
so if you start off using toxic tools - don't be surprised i suppose.
@Wewereseeds@sunbeam.city and similarly, if you are in the kitchen on the sautee station, you probably should not be shocked when it gets a little warm. if you use the same tools and methods - including disregard for another person's feelings, patronizing attitudes, and focusing only on yourself as the victim instead of addressing people you've hurt - you're going to get a similar result, as you're doing the same recipe.
something to keep in mind, i've babbled enough, lol.
