community moderation, asking for help
how do you deal with a person who is acting in good faith and trying to be a good and even helpful community member,
but just doesn't know how to calm the fuck down
and has a tendency to say things in ways that upset people
re: community moderation, asking for help
@ky0ko in a moment after-the-fact let them know they did something wrong and that they should try to improve their behavior in the future ?
re: community moderation, asking for help
@Kat we've done this several times now
re: community moderation, asking for help
@ky0ko hm
i'm not sure, then. at this point i'd consider disciplinary action.
it'll feel wrong, but, if they're harming others, it's what i'd do
re: community moderation, asking for help
@Kat we've muted her several times and pointed out exactly what and why her behavior was upsetting others and not acceptable (again: *entirely* in how she emphasises things)
but we still feel like a ban would be too harsh, and we think the community would think the same
re: community moderation, asking for help
@ky0ko @Kat as a stranger rolling by, can i recommend a 'soft block' by way of rolling/increasing punishments?
e.g. "listen, we have tried to fix this issue with you, and now we're instituting a new punishment. next slip-up of this is a temp ban of x. after that, it's a temp ban of x+1. after that, it's a ban of x+a week. we know you struggle but you are also hurting other people, and i want you to be able to feel the gravity of that."
re: community moderation, asking for help
@ky0ko @Kat it may be that there's something not registering to them as A Problem because "well i just come back in a day after i get unmuted, no problem." maybe changing the time/length variable might make it clear that not only is the behavior bad, but it is becoming increasingly egregious for others to have to deal with.
re: community moderation, asking for help
@ky0ko @Kat it sucks when someone is genuinely trying but also still genuinely hurting people. the idea of some escalating consequences i think is a bit more of a gentle discouragement than an outright block, and if she gets upset by it, point out that it's not your job to set up people for her to accidentally hurt - it's your job to take care of the *community*. and sometimes that might mean not everyone is welcome.
