you: these two boys are hot, they should fuck
me: these two boys are hot, they should become bitter rivals and constantly try to kill each other in single combat
you: these two hot boys who are bitter rivals and constantly trying to kill each other in single combat should fuck
me: THIS IS WHY I CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS
@InspectorCaracal YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT'S MY FAULT THEY BLEED PRETTY, OKAY,
@wigglytuffitout the best one was "can't a man enjoy watching gratuitously violent swordplay in peace"
@InspectorCaracal i mean the blatant sex metaphors of swordplay are something snails definitely beat us to
idk if you'll find many anime dudes jousting on who can strike the best blow dick-first while being as dramatic as possible though
...
wait i'm pretty sure i just accidentally reverse-engineered a bunch of weird yaoi mpreg
@wigglytuffitout i find it extremely unlikely there isn't an anime porn out there which involves men battling for dominance with their literal dicks
@wigglytuffitout i have tried to phrase a tongue in cheek reply to this Three Times and EVERY TIME it sounds like I'm making an extremely blatant sex metaphor lmfao