Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

it's not a coincidence that many of these same dudes will wrap themselves in casual transphobia up to their eyeballs, because they think misogyny is fine, and therefore they're allowed - if not honor-bound, "cause i'm gay!" - to hate many things that are typically female. "ugh, pussies are so GROSS, can you IMAGINE even HAVING one? AWFUL, DISGUSTING... i'm so glad i'll never have to deal with one near me 'cos i'm gay!"

in fact, to get REALLY fucking spicy, there is a massive problem - especially in these sort of spheres of fashion, etc. - with gay men, usually white and cis, who feel that they never need to answer for their own misogyny because they are gay.

that's not how it works. being gay is not carte blanche to belittle, look down upon, and harass women. "it's ok honey i'm gay" is not a response to "wait no, stop grabbing my breasts".

at some point a man telling women patronizingly they are doing makeup all wrong and he's there to save them from themselves is just the same old tired song and dance.

and "but i'm not straight!" is not a get out of jail free card. you can be gay and still be a misogynist.

you see it in cooking, you see it in sewing, you see it in teaching - a cook is female, a chef is male. a person who sews is female, a fashion designer is male. so on. so forth. only men are allowed to have influence and vision on the direction that things will take. women, as second-best, are expected to just consume and follow, as per the misogynist status quo.

while i sympathize with many of their plights, there is a point at which i stop having sympathy for male makeup artists

there is a point at which it just becomes the same old tale of "this is a women's sphere, only women can use this, but if you want to do it *professionally*, you'd better be a man because women can't be trusted with it now that it's important work"

@laser it's definitely at least a southern thing, though i've not heard of it outside of the south - i did some research recently and black eyed peas, along with hoppin john, are pretty distinctly Slave Food.

@citlali@kitty.town honestly, i tend to only use this phrase when i mean "end of discussion in this place/that includes me on this topic". and usually to only combat dudes who want to take up all of a space to wheel out their pet cause to drive out/harass/leave no space for minorities (women, poc, etc.). often there it also means "end of discussion that can be done here that is in any way useful, let's firmly put this topic to bed because this is boorish behavior not tolerated here."

i legitimately want to have a #lolitafashion meetup at a waffle house. because fuck it why the fuck not let's go be fancy with our hashbrowns all the way

@dirt@lgbtq.cool absolutely a fancy dress occasion. waffle house at 3am, DOUBLY SO.

@dirt@lgbtq.cool galaxy brain: anything can be an occasion to wear an extravagant dress in if you decide that the occasion is "i want to wear an extravagant dress"

@troubleMoney i know right? i mean i'm sure they still have to deal with a lot of the paperwork hell i'm stuck in, but at least they get that satisfaction in the moment lol........

i just gotta hold in there though until my student loans are released from you're-disabled-for-now-let's-see-if-you-still-are purgatory to be fully obliterated

at which point hopefully i won't have to pay tax on all that as a monetary gain

the amount of red tape and paperwork that you are expected to do

to certify that you are still disabled (and unable to reliably do things like, say, sit down and do paperwork and secretarial work all day long)

is bullshit lol

@darksouls this is in fact Dark Souls-ish for MOOOOOOOON PRISMMMMMMM POWEEEEEEERRRRRR https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ai9lzmhEBa8

i do feel though like someone who is a bit more in the thick of it than me should maybe start talking about the intersection of gender expression/gender feeling and chronic pain/chronic fatigue/other #spoonie stuff.

because i do believe there's something there, and probably a something quite interesting to talk about!

it's just that as 'cishet except mildly less girl on very bad pain days', i'm not the best person to explore it. someone should do so, tho.

i honestly don't think that i gain anything from exploring other labels and trying to insert myself into communities here.

"i feel solid i'm a girl, but on very bad pain days, i sometimes feel like girl at 80% saturation. girl at 5 inches to the left. nearly but not quite girl. heterosexual tho." if i tried to call myself queer for that, i think that i'd be seen as just an interloper - and i'd feel like one too.