Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

anyway i think i'm done now, unless i find a generator where it's D.A.R.E. logos so i can tell people to Just Say No To The Patriarchy

anyway, in summary,

"i can do a womanly thing better than all the women" gives momentary power, but it only gives it when you agree with the patriarchy that gay men are closer to women than men, and that women are fundamentally lesser. this is a bullshit premise, and you need to emphatically not buy into it.

the patriarchy isn't right. the patriarchy will never be right. don't listen to it. don't buy into it. just don't.

gay guys.... the patriarchy is a liar. you can't lean into the patriarchy enough to make it fundamentally love you, because it doesn't. if you try to do so, sure, the patriarchy will take you up a peg above women, but that's still way below straight men. you can't agree with the patriarchy's devaluing of you into them valuing you. you can't agree that you're lesser-than so incredibly hard that you become as-good-as.

@citlali@kitty.town honestly that's completely fair! i just know that it's for me most often used when i need to like. taser somebody to stop chewing on my fuckin arm, lmao. sadly in that case it sounds like someone sticking their head in the sand.

i guess i should clarify, just in case

i don't think makeup is the domain of only women. i don't think fashion design or nursing or teaching should be, either.

but these are things where the patriarchy has said "that's for women"... but also "if you want to do it seriously or professionally, you have to be a man."

it's just the same old patriarchal "only men are worthy." i'm tired of it.

anyway, shitty feminist grumbling aside, hi and hello fediverse. it is now.... viscacha time

so yeah, i'm not exactly cheering the hardest about how jeffree star or some shit is ~breaking boundaries~ by being ~a man in makeup~.

men being taken more seriously than women, in fields that are meant to be women's spaces, is at some point just the same old tired misogyny we've been hearing this whole time. by all means celebrate the individual accomplishments, but recognize the pattern as you do.

not even getting to the attitude that this can get magnified into in some parts of the drag scene, where women are objects to be lampooned and mocked in hilarious caricature and not valued for anything else - except shutting up and sitting down because *they* know the *right* way to do *everything*, including *being a woman* better than women would ever think of.

it's not a coincidence that many of these same dudes will wrap themselves in casual transphobia up to their eyeballs, because they think misogyny is fine, and therefore they're allowed - if not honor-bound, "cause i'm gay!" - to hate many things that are typically female. "ugh, pussies are so GROSS, can you IMAGINE even HAVING one? AWFUL, DISGUSTING... i'm so glad i'll never have to deal with one near me 'cos i'm gay!"

in fact, to get REALLY fucking spicy, there is a massive problem - especially in these sort of spheres of fashion, etc. - with gay men, usually white and cis, who feel that they never need to answer for their own misogyny because they are gay.

that's not how it works. being gay is not carte blanche to belittle, look down upon, and harass women. "it's ok honey i'm gay" is not a response to "wait no, stop grabbing my breasts".

at some point a man telling women patronizingly they are doing makeup all wrong and he's there to save them from themselves is just the same old tired song and dance.

and "but i'm not straight!" is not a get out of jail free card. you can be gay and still be a misogynist.

you see it in cooking, you see it in sewing, you see it in teaching - a cook is female, a chef is male. a person who sews is female, a fashion designer is male. so on. so forth. only men are allowed to have influence and vision on the direction that things will take. women, as second-best, are expected to just consume and follow, as per the misogynist status quo.

while i sympathize with many of their plights, there is a point at which i stop having sympathy for male makeup artists

there is a point at which it just becomes the same old tale of "this is a women's sphere, only women can use this, but if you want to do it *professionally*, you'd better be a man because women can't be trusted with it now that it's important work"

@laser it's definitely at least a southern thing, though i've not heard of it outside of the south - i did some research recently and black eyed peas, along with hoppin john, are pretty distinctly Slave Food.

@citlali@kitty.town honestly, i tend to only use this phrase when i mean "end of discussion in this place/that includes me on this topic". and usually to only combat dudes who want to take up all of a space to wheel out their pet cause to drive out/harass/leave no space for minorities (women, poc, etc.). often there it also means "end of discussion that can be done here that is in any way useful, let's firmly put this topic to bed because this is boorish behavior not tolerated here."

i legitimately want to have a #lolitafashion meetup at a waffle house. because fuck it why the fuck not let's go be fancy with our hashbrowns all the way