Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

@wintgenstein get a pixie frog! then it'll be more the frog in danger of eating the cat.

(ok i kid, they don't get THAT big, but they're very very good absolute units)

....you could probably break skin with this if you had a sufficiently sharp toothpick or other toothpick-sized bolt....

....

....

"yeah i concealed carry" i say as i pull out my palm-sized crossbow, loaded with a sewing needle; "ow what the fuck" says the mugger, "goddamn what the hell, you know you can just get pepper spray right",

ok this little "free just pay shipping" crossbow that fires toothpicks? actually packs a surprising amount of punch. i was just able to fire a toothpick across the living room, into the hallway, with such force that it then ricocheted off the hallway wall

fishing in #ffxiv is in fact zen as hell. you definitely have to be in the mood for it, but if you are, it's amazing.

seriously. put on a podcast, kick your feet up, and just go fishin'.

is it high octane action? nope. but it's peaceful. you get to enjoy the lovely views. you get to relax. it's a great time.

(top hint: in sound settings, turn the music down low so it doesn't drive you mad, but leave sound effects up so you can hear the sploosh of a fish on the line along with your podcast.)

@mythros a lot of people rag on fishing for being a waste of time, but honestly, i find it a very lovely excuse to sit down and take a moment to just look at the landscape! ffxiv is an extraordinarily gorgeous game, and the day-night and weather cycles often mean that you can get radically different views, and just... enjoy looking at some lovely landscapes!

@LANthus GOD THAT'S EVEN BETTER.... I'M SO HAPPY.... i'm bad at video games but as A Fat Girl it is so happymaking to see fat girl characters in video games who are powerful and not jokes 😭

@LANthus i have just known about this game like 5 minutes ago, and Doris is the best video game character i have seen in many months

(also can i just say from reading a review here that i'm very pleased doris is a slow-moving character not because she's fat but because. she's lugging heavy bombs around.)

i had never heard of Wild Guns Reloaded, but from like two screenshots and some character art, i am ready to declare this game as having some of the best npcs ever. i would die for bullet and doris.

so the tiny crossbow i got that shoots toothpicks is here/

shoulder angel: this will be a fun prop for your bjds. don't use it for anything else tho.

shoulder devil: MAYHEM! MAYHEM! MAYHEM! MAYHEM! MAYHEM! MAYH-

@gazimoff

[ obligatory ]

69 you say? ..............NICE

[ /obligatory ]

@productidea oh it's about a specific dude? ok that makes much more sense.

i got that feeling but now i'm sure that the entire thing could have been much more effective and succinct if it just read, "y'know what? fuck greg. i hate that guy." and that was the end of it

something that i may make into a meme at some point for #Splatoon2 , as just happened to me

No Fear

[enemy team is all with japanese names, '6 winning streak!']

One Fear

and anyway, that's how you know #Emory is in fact better than #UniversityofGeorgia . our mascot has never died

CAN'T KILL WHAT'S ALREADY DEAD BITCHEEEEEEEEEEEEES

peta is completely right in saying that Uga the bulldog never should have met the longhorn steer mascot of texas either.

the best thing to do is when the current Uga bulldog dies - on average, they've been living like 4-5 years. it'll be soon. - drop the practice of being the bulldawgs entirely.

instead the next Uga should be a bully-breed-mix pound pup, promptly fixed, socialized to work the crowds, and used as part of a campaign to promote UGA fans adopting from shelters.

(clears throat)

the university of georgia should do the decent thing and retire its mascot

modern bulldogs of that show variety are miserable creatures plagued by too many health problems and it is cruel to breed animals that way

more importantly, the UGA bulldog line is rife with such health problems that no proper breeder would breed it at all. these animals only exist out of twisted sentimentality and live short lives full of pain for the convenience of football fans.

anyway fediverse y'all wanna hear my hottest take, or rather, the one most likely to get me punched square in the face in my town where i live?