Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

reading back at my ranting i think it's obvious that you can scope out the ONE TRUE UR-KINK in my mind:

having a good time with somebody while genuinely connecting with them as another human being and feeling able to be vulnerable.

while mashing genitals together.

pls no kinkshame

@KendanKip@snouts.online for actual college advice, tho:

1. eat breakfast

2. there is only so much caffiene one should consume per day

3. if living in a dorm/apartment, get a good pair of headphones/earbuds

4. don't be afraid to ask professors and advisors for help

5. no really, actually eat breakfast, you need that

6. you can get away with slipping bites of something soft like a clif bar (not a crunchy granola bar) between sips of coffee in most classes even if the teacher says no eating

@KendanKip@snouts.online i will let you in on a horrible secret of adulthood:

nobody ever feels ready, and yet it happens nonetheless.

and it's never as much of a calamity as one thinks. i promise.

even the worst case scenario has a way forward. there is always a way forward. there will always be a way forward.

nothing will be the end of the world. it will just be a little different than you expected. (and it always is a little different - Murphy always takes his cut.)

@CyclopsCaveman honestly all of them know damn fucking well it's not 'a clever subversive joke' when they wear their ahegao hoodie to mcdonald's or whatever

it's baby rapists demanding everyone participate in their kink without consent, and being taught to ignore the consent of other people in sexual acts (even/especially when it comes to children tbh)

And this is why 4chan must be nuked from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

but also BOO FUCKING 4CHAN WEEBS RUINING ONE KEYWORD WHERE I COULD FIND STRAIGHT FUCKIN' WHERE IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE WOMAN IS IN ABSOLUTE AGONY AND IS PERHAPS EVEN ENJOYING HERSELF

can we just yeet them into the sun already!!!

why can't we go back to "feels so nice i'm making a silly face because sex is fun and nice and you can have genuine expressions of joy to connect with other people in the moment" instead of fucking

4channers wearing hoodies out in the world and banking on nobody saying anything so they get off on shoving their porn in public spaces because iTs jUsT tHe SiLlY fAcEs something something "triggered snowflakes" i'm breaking out in hives help.

@CyclopsCaveman basically it was a fairly ok fetish before the weird-ass weebs took hold of it and now it's become the flagship of some like

fucking 4chan regrettableness

where it's not people who are into the "wow sex feels so good that i'm gonna make a silly orgasm face!", but people who are instead out to make a game of putting it out in the world as a type of pervasive sexual harassment to passersby, forcing everyone to... well, look at their porn they printed on a tshirt

@CyclopsCaveman as a random allo person seeing your hot take drifting across the fediverse

honestly, agree

even as someone who has kinda been into it at times

about idk, 3 years ago, i feel like the term was a lot more lighthearted. also it was one of the few ways to find straight porn where a woman didn't look like she was in absolute agony lol.

i can still see the appeal - like, sex so good you forget about not looking goofy - but it's become... deeply unfortunate.

@maple yeah! too impatient to bring the stuff to a boil for however many minutes after filtering yada yada LOL

instead i just have a big ol jug of distilled water and my electric kettle, which can warm to a temp of 104 F, perfect for shoving up my face HOORAY

(pro tip for other neti pot users: you can mix the saline solution double strength to make a rinse that is less soothing, but much more drying, meaning you get to breathe through your nose, which is very nice)

@maple i think it's boiling for a certain number of minutes?

honestly i just buy a jug of distilled though, because it's easy and brain amoebas aren't good times

@maple OH YEAH THAT'S IMPORTANT, ONLY USE DISTILLED

or previously boiled then cooled as per recommendations etc etc.

i may have gotten a fancy electric kettle *just* for heating up neti pot water lmao but honestly it's been one of my best recent investments

well ok it's not a pot, it's a neti squeezy bottle?, but like

y'all

pouring water up your nose is Good. it Helps So Much. trust me on this

i'm gonna marry my neti pot

anyway this may be egregiously cishet of me, but folks saying "soldier 76 is confirmed as gay in one line in this material supplementary to the game then the writer on twitter confirming so! REPRESENTATION WIN!"...

all i can hear is "activision-blizzard kindly requests you stop paying attention to things like, say, how their stock is doing right now, or the whole selling lootboxes to children thing (with promos for free lootboxes in boxes of pop-tarts, first hit's on the house kiddos!)".

because god fucking forbid a yankee motherfucker eats food that is commonplace to any of the workers he scowls at for being poor eh.

right i think that rant is done

(p.s. please note that there is a big difference between "someone who lives north of the mason-dixon line" and "a yankee". the first is fantastic. the second is me describing a particular brand of odious idiot, and please feel free to also come jeer at them as well.)

"well as long as my authentic cuisine hasn't been touched by THE POORS" is such a depressingly yankee attitude to take that it just about squeezes the desire to live out of me.

if you don't like, for instance in above example, offal, it's fine. i don't. but that's me personally not liking the thing. i know when to shut my fucking yap and not make value judgments about it, like you're only allowed to eat this shit if you're sufficiently ~*exotic*~.

honestly i think there's some real model minority bullshit at work in the culinary industry. pho with beef tendon and tripe is exotic, classy, trendy.

but the same trends that say that will also say authentic menudo is disgusting, dirty, and unsafe to eat. and the same people will tell you that chitlins are awful, unsanitary, and something no fashionable person would ever consider eating.

i mean when even my lily-white mayonnaise ass can see this shit, you know it's bad.

so nah, you don't have to suddenly acquire a taste for chitlins, but i think it speaks fucking volumes about somebody if they gush about being interested in social justice and anti-racism, and will eagerly wax poetic about finding the perfect authentic bowl of pho, but will immediately dismiss soul food as gross, disgusting, unsanitary, and not something that could ever be considered 'real fine dining'.

this goes triple for some of the oddities of soul food which you can directly trace back to african cuisine. if you're mocking that shit, you're mocking the black community's desperate way to keep continuity with their heritage as they were stolen from their homes. you're being cruel to often some of the only connections that still remain there.

that's fucked up. don't say you're fighting racism if you're interested in perpetuating it.

you don't have to personally be ready to chow down on possum pie or hoppin john, but don't look down at the culinary traditions of poor people and-or people of color (and the large large overlap there) in the south and in appalachia and also say you're interested in empowering the masses

yeah, some of these are cuisines borne of desperation, but they're also really important cultural touchstones. don't mock them for being 'silly' or 'not classy'.