Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

@Sapphicgiraffic@snouts.online can i just say as someone with an impossible bra size, i am so fucking peanut butter and jealous of you right now

it's like this strappy bralette trend exists SPECIFICALLY to torment me i swear to god

it's just me remembering academia and pouring this poem all over my face tonight https://blogs.cardiff.ac.uk/rsrc/2019/03/08/i-got-told-what-to-call-this-poem-by-my-male-colleague/

i'm going to wake up tomorrow with a thousand angry replies from people retooting that like i'm actually a competent author and not part of the masses of ao3, but i regret absolutely nothing, this is top dad joke level folks

is that a really fucking stupid joke?

YES

am i going tell it still?

ALSO YES

guess who's a hugo award nominee now :^) https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/vbw9eb/internet-fan-fiction-archive-ao3-hugo-award

@maple only if you eat enough beans

@TeethTeethTeeth but at least we can measure the niceness of them gams.

@InspectorCaracal ahh yeah i see now, you've got that detail working for you

well i know it's probably either volts or amps and beyond that i'm clueless i'm afraid LOL

@InspectorCaracal i'm dumb at engineering sciencey type shit but you could always go with the container running dry instead of the units in the container running dry - e.g. batteries are made up of cells, so "even if he drained every last [energy] cell"

that might mean the audience also stays with you a bit better instead of going "wait, volts? do you measure batteries in volts? is that right? i think it's volts..." ......possibly?

@InspectorCaracal unfortunately no :( i can't think of any like.. bad dings that she's encountered, which is what makes it so vexing. especially because this came on gradually. at least she's ok with my text noise blorp and my mom's trying to figure out changing her phone i guess

my dog has become increasingly terrified of ding or chime noises in the last few months, and my parents don't want to change their text message received noises, so every time they get a text my dog gets scared ><

i'm trying to figure out how to train around this but... when she's scared, she also doesn't want to eat treats

today's crackpot theory:

darth vader's father is actually the stig from top gear

evidence:

1. want go fast
2. good at go fast
3. die if you take helmet off
4. not so good at people-ing
5. but very very very good at go fast

"harp that joke was a bit of a stretch" i stand by it.

@alimcgowen i feel like i finally understand the gameplay of pacman now on some fundamental level, and why its sequel was ms. pacman

jesus christ when did it get to be 3:30 am!!!!!!!! fuck

GOODNIGHT FEDIVERSE

@MrJimmy tbh i would actually suggest looking at resources for domestic violence for support, an idea of what to do next, strategy, etc.

the world is much more comfortable with the idea of a romantic partner gone wrong

but honestly, close friendships can do the same... fucking... thing. if you presented this as a romantic partner, the world would yell "holy shit get away from your abuser". so, honestly... believe that and holy shit gtfo from this person

@MrJimmy i don't even know the full story and this is me giving you permission that you're like 3-5 incidents past when i would have told anyone else "holy fuck, that is NOT someone who respects your boundaries or you as a person, cut contact, yeet them into the sun, batten down hatches"