Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

aw dunk i forgot to post this extremely bad extremely nsfw gif for the 4th of July

please have it slightly late instead (legit nsfw naked genital bits, also bad safety practices on display)

@cosmicrose@queer.party ah yes, delicious shrimp tempura!*

*bc apparently the internet has decided this pose is called Shrimping and i love it

i have a new online prejudice:

people who roll viera only to stick them in the werewolf ears, obliterating their bunny ears entirely, are Awful and when i am queen they will be made Illegal In The Eyes of The Law.

also there's a ffxiv ship i am on board spelled out for you: cid and nero are totally Oh, They Fuckin'. https://twitter.com/prozd/status/998647988510748672?lang=en

@Jo the animation could be better though https://media1.tenor.com/images/465a6f647a9a414ef1a6d3e71804a261/tenor.gif?itemid=4985611

@Jo ( obligatory ffxiv joke sorry ) oh yeah, that's the culinarian limit break ( /obligatory )

happy Look At My Catgirl o'clock everyone! #ffxiv

cw for eye contact i think? i mean close enough

so this is a thing that exists for people who have enjoyed HBO's Chernobyl https://youtu.be/TA9WQrWLnK4

i'm not trying to do the "i win the oppression olympics" thing at all but can i just say, as a disabled person who is too physically disabled to go out and protest, and too busy dealing with mental health to go to the frontlines even electronically, as well as not having money to donate, that right now it very much sucks to be powerless to resist against current events

well i looked at the news so i'm going to hope this reality tv show about a mortuary in new zealand is good to distract me from working myself up further

whenever anyone mentions they're having/just had their wisdom teeth removed, i burst in like some mixture of the kool-aid man and fairy godmother, yelling REMEMBER TO NOT USE STRAWS AND TAKE A LAXATIVE N O W PLEASE JUST TRUST ME ON THAT

wait. wait. hold on. i just had a revelation, @Sapphicgiraffic@snouts.online

normal brain: making OCs that are the same as you

big brain: making OCs that are your kink

GALAXY BRAIN: making OCs that are Same and then having them also enact Kink as self-affirmation that you are worthy of having your needs and desires fulfilled

please don't look too closely at this base post and then all of my fanfiction with romantic purposes in them because i definitely have just completely exposed myself here

i mean is it really romance unless there's at least one "listen i know you're really sick and were literally on death's door just a short while ago but also we can't keep our hands off each other so if you just lay back and try to stay still it's fine right????????" scene

"DID YOU JUST CUM SO HARD YOU PASSED OUT FOR A HOT MINUTE OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I HAD FUCKED YOU TO DEATH!!!!!!" "worth it lol" optional but ultimately recommended

@Sapphicgiraffic@snouts.online see i was going to object to this on grounds of "but hurting them for the angst though" and then i remembered my deep love of hurt/comfort So I'm Afraid I Must Disqualify Myself Now

THANK YOU FOR ATTENDING THIS EPISODE OF: HARP WRITES SOME HORNY SHIT, "SUB ZENOS MIND BREAK" EDITION

stay tuned for next week, where sex pollen descends on the battlefield and the warrior of light watches in disbelief as zenos violently fucks his golfbag full of swords! "what am i, chopped liver?! for fuck's sake can i get a hand at least?!"