Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

i hope dwarf fortress never gets updated graphics

not because i hate the game. quite the opposite. i've never played it because i am terrified at how into it i might get. if it was like Sims 3 level of graphical detail, i would never get anything done in the rest of my life

so i saw this screenshot a friend linked on twitter https://twitter.com/LejayXIV/status/1158040083221504000?s=19

and in response

i quickly mspainted together all i could think of

Stupid Sexy Urianger strikes again #ffxiv

cw'd for eye contact + while not technically nsfw i feel like it is in the spirit of nsfw in that it would be a bit of a doing to explain to a nosy boss glimpsing it over your shoulder

ah fuck okay i should go the fuck to sleep i gotta be up in 7 hours to get up to go see the lawyer about appealing my disability benefits getting taken away because they declared me 'totes fit to work' literally less than 2 weeks before my surgery and so i see a lawyer the day before surgery ha haHAa AHA AHAH.

anyway

goo nite

please imagine this post but retold in like, spooky story around the campfire where somebody's holding a flashlight under their chin, for full effect

bad news: tops are real on mastodon but the wish for a top to be on masto was granted by the monkey's paw so all you got is me

the cishet girl domme

Sorry Everyone

@InspectorCaracal wait but it's only one shoulder so

AW DUNK HAVE I BEEN SEPHIROTH THIS WHOLE TIME

@InspectorCaracal i mean the face is probably hurting eventually in with like

all the rest of him

metaphor checks out

@InspectorCaracal IT'S SUCH BULLSHIT

i'm super super glad that i found a combination of stuff my skin likes - having 1-4 pimples a week instead of a day was a fucken godsend

BUT IT ALLOWED ME TO BE FILLED WITH HUBRIS.... LIKE ICARUS, I FLEW TOO DARINGLY CLOSE TO THE SUN.... and now my face hurts. ...just like icarus?

there's sensitive skin and then there's My Fuckin Face apparently, which is less "omg yeah my face is soooo sensitive, if i sleep in my makeup i get a pimple the next day!" and more "i failed to bring the wrathful gods proper sacrifices of chamomile... they looked upon my choice of cucumber instead.... and declared... i had chosen...... poorly.........."

Harp Is Your Face's Skin Ecology The Old Knight At The End Of Indiana Jones And The Holy Grail?

basically yeah lmao

another extremely petty whine:

so this is after me babying on it for two days, my face is still ANGRY at me for DARING to use a (sensitive skin.) makeup removing wipe last week

how angry?

i just counted after taking a photo, 32 pimples on my face and neck lmao

at least it don't hurt as bad as it did last night

@InspectorCaracal that last one is just the new middle square honestly

@InspectorCaracal admittedly many video games are actually bullshit

but i think it may be more, in both cases, the "95% of everything is shit" is being enforced, not the base concept

........also cishet white dudes dominating and domineering both fields to control what is seen as typical and what is an accepted form of those particular ideas honestly

also i'd make a bingo card for my masto account but it'd just be

TOO MANY FUCKIN WORDS

in every square

anyway "video game stories suck", often meaning "i didn't interact with this interactive story and it ended up doing nothing for me, so this sucks", is going to be the new version of "they paid how much for this?! my kid could do that! modern art is bullshit!" send toot

anyway it's time to get on with the worst part of pre-surgery nonsense: showers three days in a row.

as someone who could only collect spoons for two a *week* if i was *lucky* because of pain i expect this is going to end with me sobbing in the tub while someone hoses me down with a garden sprayer

moritori te salutamus and all that bullshit, stay tuned for further rampant whining

at some point it's just somebody saying "anyone who has cried because of a piece of music needs to read a fucken book, like music has any good writing in it, gawd"

a book and a piece of music are two fundamentally different things by definition...?

i'm probably just Not Getting The Cool Hip Masto Kids Joke but goddamn if i wanted to be surrounded by people with flagpoles up their asses i'd go back to the english department to get shamed for not dry humping james joyce continuously or w/e