Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

also tho being token cishet i have realized that although i shoot for motherly energy, i actually end up somewhere else. the white eyelet lace curtains, the crystal bowls full of werther's originals, the cream for my aching joints after i comment on how i know rain must be coming, the urge to just slip twenty dollar bills (and possibly packaged leftovers) into the pockets of my friends when they aren't looking because I NEED TO MAKE SURE THEY LEAVE WITH SOMETHING...

i am big grandma energy

@katrani @monorail ah, so the three groups are:

1. mom

2. wine aunt (bad but not in a serious way)

3. vodka cousin (disaster children)

?

@monorail oh my god

well

in good news, the loud whoosh you just heard outside? that was not an airplane

that was your extremely clever joke going over my oblivious head

@monorail i feel antagonized for you using the discord light theme

(joking aside unless i've missed your sarcasm iirc there's totally a word for that and also tetris was being legit researched as therapy for ptsd for a bit)

@InspectorCaracal they make me roll my eyes so hard that i can gargle them in the back of my throat.

especially when on fetlife they visit my inbox talking about how i'm just a domme because i haven't REALLY experienced the joy of being a sub ;) and they'll totally do that for me ;) because that's a woman's natural place ;) but they're a feminist so they can say that ;)

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANY OF THEM EXPECTED TO ACCOMPLISH WHEN I LISTED "PURE DOMME NO SWITCH"

anyway somebody let me know if there's a cure for being cishet so i can receive it and fuck off to some lesbian mountain farm commune and never again have to experience the wearisome weight of knowing The Cishet Dudes Are At It Again In My Proximity Unbidden And Unwelcome

nobody cares about how you want to play with her little mouth uguuu!! nobody cares about your ahegao porn drifting untagged across the fediverse!!! nobody cares about how you're so Cool And Enlightened And Not Like Other Guys because You're Kinky!!!!!

NOBODY CARES! NOBODY CARES! NOBODY CARES!

"harp aren't you token cishet"

YEAH BUT CISHET MEN ARE OFTEN ODIOUS CHODES, ESPECIALLY THIS VARIANT OF "i'm too cool to be a harasser!". DON'T BOO ME YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT.

oh man i had gone so long on masto without being jumped by untagged egregious cishet male gaze porn that i'd forgotten what a miserable little blip on your dash it can be

i would ask, looking out on the fediverse today, if berries.space was ok

but i already know the answer is no

the answer is always no

real footage of me entering the discourse

@EllieDoe@snouts.online apparently it is a game that gets spoopy? or something? https://hempuli.com/baba/

in any case it DOES look like the white blob friend is called baba and i am ready to love and accept him.

i thought all this time a baba was a type of pastry (as in, a rhum baba), but apparently it is a Spooky Thing now?

i do not know what is going on but i will say the little four-legged white blob with ears is shaped like a friend. i accept them into my life. i do not know if they are baba but they seem to be busy pushing text around. when they are next wanting to take a break i will gladly give them a hug and a cup of tea. they are doing a very good job.

@funkeh hello! thank you for doing this, it seems really cool! O:

i believe wigglytuff is still open, so i would appreciate being put down for it there! thank you so much!!! 💖

"i am a joy and a delight and any discord server would be happy to have me" i whisper to myself moments before posting this