Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

@kylie this is your perfect opportunity to go with something incredibly cheezy, like Danger

setting you up for the rest of your life for "well you know, my middle name IS Danger" jokes

black and white shorthair: your friends adore you, but are starting to become concerned with your blood pressure levels. deinstall LoL and maybe stop screaming at your TV so much.

...

aka this is where i ran out of inspirational faux horoscopes and am now just left with a stupid joke one

russian blue: some call you cold, most call you regal. but underneath that cool and collected exterior is a lot of love. don't be afraid to let your guard down more often!

alley catz: you've been hurt before, you know... and it has made you angry. try to give yourself the compassion you deserve, and extend that to others, too - you're a diamond in the rough who just needs the slightest polish to shine!

maine coon: you're the chill life of the party, always ready in the back with a witty comment or an extra case of beer or an actually good rendition of wonderwall on acoustic guitar. go with the flow, but don't be taken advantage of!

calico: you're an eclectic and varied person, and although some people might dislike this, you know how to bring it all together. you're the vegemite sandwich of people, and those who hate it ain't worth your time.

@praxis this is me being very silly declaring that the new horoscope is What Cat Breed You Adopted First In The Computer Game Petz/Catz because that is infinitely more accurate than star charts l m a o

siamese: you're worth it, and you know it. continue being vocal in what you want, because you deserve it! any time is a good time to treat yourself.

tabby: like coca-cola, vanilla ice cream, and the little black dress, you're an enduring popular personality for good reason! don't let people say you're 'too boring' - keep being yourself!

persian: it might all seem overwhelming. but remember, while others call you 'high maintenance' - self-care isn't selfish! you deserve that comfort!

i'm replacing horoscopes with a far more accurate test: which catz breed you adopted first when playing catz

of course that also came with the sort of huge online arguments that only 12 year olds convinced in their own absolute morality could have with each other, LOL

the ethics of creatures wolfling runs........... oh the tales i could tell you........... all those moments lost like tears in the rain........... [ cue bass-boosted dramatic-sad blade runner music otamatone cover ]

i should at least install creatures 1 and 2 on my laptop again

those games have such a special place in my heart, especially because underneath the "oh this is a fantasy critter i guess" is a lot of painstakingly modeled biology. down to hormones rising and falling, individual "genes", and everything

i used to do "wolfling runs" - load the game up, leave them all alone overnight, see what happens - and it was always fascinating to see what had happened, a bit survival of the virtual fittest

..........mastodon petz revival, anyone?

i still remember how to take and judge 'show photos' lol

they're as good as abandonware, it's easy to find the entire game to download (http://homebody.eu/carolyn/downloabx/p5backup.htm is where i'd trust because carolyn is the OG of petz hexxing and her site, though ancient, is blessed and legit), and we could all do some challenges like "vanilla-only no hexxed additional breeds, now have some pretty kitties/doggos"....

@maple yeah, that's very much a mood

pet games/ai life games are such a neglected genre, and it feels like mobile gaming is just ripe for such a thing to hit them, and yet there's startlingly no good options really : / which is a real shame.

@maple honestly that is also deeply valid lol

the ballz method of construction for petz might be worth yoinking as a concept though (off-color jokes about the name of it aside lol), if you ever do decide that such a project would be interesting to do :>

@maple i remember they did have that functionality Back In The Day where you could play with someone's petz in a very limited manner via a block of code that you popped on your website - i can't remember exactly what it roped in to handle that (java, flash, whatevs), it's been a hot minute

i wonder if you could pop the hood on that one and have fun disassembling it for programming ideas? (not that i want to chuck another project on your shoulders, mind, but Potentially Interesting Thing?)

@maple understandable! it's a different tone than catz for sure, i just think it's hella neat and worth mentioning just in case you were like "oh shit, that DOES look interesting" ^0^

@maple that's valid, it was probably a bit of a regional thing - and i'm speaking from my own "somewhere i probably have backups of prized show petz on zip disc" nostalgia LOL

it's a bit more nerdy and less familiar in tone than petz but totally, TOTALLY worth getting - https://www.gog.com/game/creatures_the_albian_years

creatures 1 is actually my firm favourite, they got progressively more sci-fi-ish. they actually model a lot of the biology of the critters which is super super cool to see

@maple i can 100% guarantee they're thinking "oh shit petz... oh man... i wanna play that again...."

did you ever get into the creatures games? fuck those were my JAM too, i yearn hard for the 'virtual life' genre with that level of customization/etc.

@maple i wonder what carolyn of carolyn's creations is up to now. googling for it again shows that another one of the OG hexxers, a close friend of carolyn, is still active in the community

god i wish i had disposable cash to send them both beautiful gift baskets or flowers or something for being such wonderful inspirations to basically an entire generation of women getting into STEM that way

@maple GOD my fucking childhood

though my true dark secret? ....i was far more into hexxing the babyz spinoff, making elaborate curls and hairdos lol