Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

FUCKING ANTS

@InspectorCaracal ok that is kind of a valid anxiety though since so much of the american healthcare bullshit hellscape is constructed in a way where just one doctor going "i don't believe you, i think you're faking. gtfo" is like a cannonball to a palace made of playing cards

I AM PROBABLY NOT HELPING THAT ANXIETY ANY but, well, as the kids say. big hat. same mood.

@InspectorCaracal honestly, valid

idk, maybe i could add it to my litany of different things on my "please give me disability" list, but i feel like it'd be such a pain in the ass to actually get that it wouldn't be terribly worth it

same with the dyscalculia, it's a heaping portion of WHELP THIS WOULDA BEEN COOL TO KNOW IN 4TH FUCKIN GRADE

i don't mean to imply that getting a new diagnosis is a bad thing, or that having a diagnosis is a bad thing, by the way

i have a bit of a tangled ball of personal feelings alongside knowing with head-smarts that dx'ing is good, it is valuable information, it means solidarity and solutions

but uhhhh my dudes, heart-dumb means that this meme is Very True

instead of taking over ms holly glaceon's perfectly cromulent personal thread even more than i already have,

i gotta admit the point that makes me go breathe into a brown paper bag at feeling a new dx drooling over my shoulder is when i go "haha no see, i'm good with social cues and such, i can't be on the autism spectrum" and then the internet just roars WELL YOU COULDA MADE IT A SPECIAL INTEREST. REMEMBER HOW MUCH TIME YOU SPENT READING MISS MANNERS BOOKS and i start sweating bullets

@monorail "oh this is just an anxiety fidget bracelet," i weakly protest, "i fidget with it 'cos of the anxiety, y'know, not anything on the autism spectrum, the anxiety," as i explode yet another innocent bracelet after wearing all the silver plating clean off it

SAME HAT. BIG SOLIDARITY. WHATEVER THE EQUIVALENT OF "MOOD" IS THESE DAYS WITH THE HIP YOUTHS

i just remembered chupa chups exist and am filled with a great desire for candy

@monorail it's like a slasher movie except instead of death it's people going "oh fuck goddammit. well this would have been fucking useful when i was, like, actually in SCHOOL and shit. ...sigh well fine, i guess i get to enjoy some new tips of coping strategies. fuck it i'm ordering this stim toy."

@monorail oh god that phrase

i feel like i've watched the majority of my friends over the years have the exact same "i don't think it's necessarily an autism thing, i do that. ......wait, shit. shit fuck" course and every time i see it i start sweating bullets while the specter of another dx looms over me, just waiting for me the next time i utter "i don't think it's an autism thing..."

@Kat@snouts.online oh, i know - does he have a guild? tbh having a bunch of guildies also helps a lot. hooking him up with a guild of friendly folks that will be like "oh yeah, i'll come run that with you" may help tons, but idk how social he's wanting to be. even if it's just one other person, it helps a lot. i know i returned to ffxiv basically because i had a group of friends yelling "red rover red rover come the fuck on over we're all disabled and don't give a fuck if you're loopy on pain meds" lol

@Kat@snouts.online i can include my own fuckups in there as well, like The Time I Thought I Was Good To Run Dun Scaith (i was not good to run dun scaith. holy shit i was emphatically not good to run dun scaith. the muscle relaxer hit me like a brick wall before scathatch. i fuckin micronapped my way through last boss No Fucking Lie i died like six times in a row IT WAS A MESS)

@Kat@snouts.online OH HE'S TOTALLY FUCKIN FINE. bring him on over to Calamity Janine's campfire and i will spin him tales of the bullshit i've seen, like mr. "i have 2 other tanks at max level, i know what i'm doing, we should pull 4+ packs in dzmael darkhold despite the fact that i'm dressed in CASTER GEAR"

as long as he is dressed vaguely appropriately he is gucci and i will gladly spout horror stories at him to help him realize this LMFAO

@Kat@snouts.online i mean i kinda get it because i actually quit playing ffxiv for a bit due to anxiety because AAAA I CAN'T REMEMBER ALL THE THINGS

then i just realized that.... it's fine lol, nobody cares

if he's really worried about it, what class is he playing? i'd recommend a dps class because let's be real, we're the most fucken expendable lmfao. healer goes down, it's maybe a wipe. tank goes down, better panic. dps dies, yeah that's just tuesday business as usual lmfao

@Kat@snouts.online i try to let people know i'm new when it's applicable and honestly, i can't think of a single time when anyone's said "oh fuck you" and given me grief for it. mostly it's "you'll be fine, this isn't so bad", "i'm new too!", "i love this fight, do you need strats?" and the like.

maybe helping him make a macro he could mash at the start of dungeons would be a good way to give him an icebreaker and let him see how different the cultures are?

@Kat@snouts.online maybe help him put together a macro or how to say hello at the start of dungeons?

i found one of the biggest things between ffxiv and WoW culture-wise for me, going back to WoW for a little while, was how nobody in parties talked unless it was absolutely necessary. i actively weirded some people out saying hello at the start of dungeons.

meanwhile in ffxiv, "hi everyone" is something that i get a response to most of the time, even if we don't talk for the rest of the dungeon.

@Kat@snouts.online i have my Official Mentor Crown i can always slap on if talking to him in-game will help LMAO

the vast majority of people are i think like me - as long as you show up and make an obvious attempt at trying, we're totally solid, and most people are in fact really excited to share the story with you if it's your first time seeing it. after all, ffxiv is a really fuckin good game, lol

but most of my stories of direct comfort would be me telling your dad about the ACTUAL bad behavior LOL

@Kat@snouts.online >so to speak, people know that if they want to shame somebody for doing low dps by busting out the numbers, they're also exposing themselves to being banned.

there's also a lot more of a mentor culture, and mentor status is, well, a thing in-game, and as much as a lot of mentors are fuckin awful, i think that really helps the culture. also the sprout markers so everyone knows you're new and gives you slack. explaining that might help your dad feel more comfortable trying it?