Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

so i guess in conclusion there is a sliver of me just ready to go Feminist Kipling and pontificate dubiously about how feminism is the woke woman's burden to educate and elevate these poor souls who know not any better

it's probably the tip of my pinky that wants to stick out when i'm drinking tea fancily

sorry, everyone

this whole thoughts on toxic masculinity in the minutiae reminds me of a story i heard

ww2, a dude keeps sneaking into the women's mess hall every so often

he's quiet and sits by himself and doesn't bother anyone, it's only once every few weeks, but he finally gets confronted

he replies, wearily, "i know i'm not supposed to be here, but i just wanted to have lunch where i could hear 'please pass the butter' instead of 'pass the goddamn grease'..."

@troodon HONESTLY... i mean, dang, it's also got to fucking hurt to be told over and over that your purpose interacting in the world is only to find things that are tactically advantageous, not things that are *enjoyable*. like if you aren't able to explain how it's making you more powerful, you aren't allowed to have it at all, because that is your only concern.

i mean jesus christ. that's gotta warp the brain. we need to slam dunk all these poor men into nice bubble baths ASAP

not all masculinity is bad ofc but i think we can safely say that the attitude of "men! don't take pleasure in things unless they are SUFFICIENTLY MANLY. if you decide you want a body wash that smells nice or a blanket that is cozy, you must GROVEL for your INSUFFICIENCY" is toxic. it's like your two choices are "an enjoyable experience" and, at best, "tactical", and goddamn, we gotta go rescue the men from this "you don't get to enjoy things"

@rey do all men gotta be doomed to live joylessly though???? i mean i've heard tale of some men being embarrassed for like... "oh a soft blanket on your bed isn't MANLY" like what the fuck??? why is manhood not equivalent with "being comfortable while you sleep"

masculinity is a hellish dimension and we need to rescue men from it basically

@jimpjorps @applebaps@anarchism.space oh that one. THAT one.

if it's not that bible, there's another "for boys!" version that has SUPER GROSSOLOGY FACTS and every time i see it i am plunged straight into a 15 minute long furious sermon about how much i just really hate that as a christian and if little Bobby can't keep himself interested in the crucifixion unless he's reading about how Christ had a booger He couldn't pick because His hands were nailed to the cross, MAYBE BOBBY IS A BIT TOO YOUNG FOR IT

honestly really gendered products are sad because all of the FOR MEN! ones are just

"we've sucked all the joy out of this for you, sir"

@it_was_inevitable good news guys the dwarves have joined IWW

@applebaps@anarchism.space i'm gonna go with DUDE WIPES FOR MEN and also POWERFUL YOGURT here represented by a meme because it's funny and on topic

@miro@todon.nl it IS valuable to know and empathize with other people. it IS valuable to know what terms mean. it is even MORE valuable to know basic media literacy so you can evaluate if a source is going to give you any good information or not, and what biases they have.

if nothing else, you should learn the above before you flunk out of your first college course with essays as part of the curriculum.

i'm giving you hell because i'm taking you at your word that you want to improve.

So, get to it.

@miro@todon.nl yes, i'm being harsh here. but this is some harshness that is needed.

i'm cishet and white. i know how much it stings to hear the truth, and i know how easy it is to get flustered and recalcitrant about it, and then get stubborn.

but at the end of the day, you have to decide: are you actually going to try and make this shit better, or not?

because being lazy, then laying it all on minorities to educate you and sweet talk you into basic decency, is how we got here in the first place.

@miro@todon.nl examine where you got these ideas. pick them apart. or if that's too much work, at *least*, if you are dedicated so much to the scientific method, know what your terms are before you merrily slap them around. "i added a good splash of stuff from a brown bottle, the label was half gone but it said something hydroxic" wouldn't fly in a lab report, so if you're doing social science, do social science.

and that's YOUR job to do these things. NOT for people to clean up after you later.

@miro@todon.nl you've been really training yourself to only value this distant, philosophical viewpoint. why? who is telling you that?

who is saying that being unemotional and distant from the problems is the best way to understand them?

it is probably not the people who are crying out to you for help, desperately looking for a hand to pull them up. after all, they CAN'T step away. they CAN'T treat it as a philosophical exercise.

it's not a fun after-dinner chat with brandy and cigars for them.

@miro@todon.nl i'm going to guess it's a bunch of privileged people - probably cishet white dudes - who see themselves as the staunch enemies of alt-right assclowns, but aren't aware yet that they're using the same tactics.

and on this subject?

fuck logic.

fuck scientific study.

wanting to rigidly stick to those two things here is going to mean you will never truly grasp any social justice, because you are viewing them as a sensible rational problem that can fit into a formula and all work out.

@miro@todon.nl to continue just being blunt as all hell: do you know the saying "if you lay down with dogs, you get fleas"?

i am seeing that you are crawling with fleas. the idea that reason and science are superior to all else (like emotion), the idea that a clear view can only be gotten when you are from a detached and philosophical view, hell, even the idea that Urban Dictionary is a reliable source for defining social justice terms (bless your heart) -

what dogs have you been cuddling with?

@miro@todon.nl now is a good time to remind yourself that this is not distant philosophy from those who can rise above.

for *you*, personally, it might be. but for many people, it is not a little detail. it is a big one that threatens them daily. it is the foe that comes for their blood.

stop and listen to them. make a practice of this. you're 18, that's pretty young i suppose, but this is something where it would behoove you to drink deep from the cup of maturity and realize it ain't about *you*.

@miro@todon.nl so, because you wanted to make a slapdash funny joke, you didn't stop to do some basic analysis of "what are these terms? what do they mean? what do multiple sources *say* they mean?"

and your apology is... honestly half ego-stroking about how you're above details because you're a great philosopher, so you don't think remembering minutiae is something you should really bother with.

my dude, it's not minutiae here. it's people being attacked and killed for who they are.

@miro@todon.nl just seeing this drift past my dash...

the problem's pretty easily identified here, though you may not like its solution: you need to stop looking at it as a thing that is your ultimate pursuit of truth and your passion to become a philosopher.

it's lead you to look at it all in a detached way. the problem was just that you didn't know a bad source was bad when you looked it up. (why did you think that source was trustworthy? why did you look at only that source? where's the observing?)>

@InspectorCaracal it was an extremely "from the photoshoot of Kappa Kappa Kappa Sorority celebration of diversity!" picture, lol