Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

I MIGHT NOT BE KILLING THE ROSEMARY CRIMMAS TREE THIS YEAR

accidentally forgot to take it out of the dining room until like. january 2nd. at which point it had sent out a bunch of runners are HEWWO???? ANYSUN THEWE????

but hey that's better than going all brown and sad and dead!!

now it seems happier after sitting in the window a couple of days. i still need to figure out how much/how often to water it but i'll get there. maybe one of those automatic water bulb things???

dogs........... softe. good to pet.

like honestly, if you're trying to draw furry art lewds and are all 'oh god no i can't draw body hair', don't draw furry lewds.

step it back a bit. just draw a big titty nekomimi or whatever. i'll still side-eye you but i won't do it *quite* as harshly.

furries are... furry. they furry y'all. if you got paws and a tail and a non-human face shape, you're gonna have to address the rest. if ya don't wanna, don't get into the game!!!

IS your wolf girlfriend with a nice fuzzy ruff on her neck going to have a completely smooth bikini zone, hm? IS SHE? WHY do people keep DRAWING THAT. for one thing it's rather alarmingly jarring to have that just drawn smooth as a brazilian waxer's dream yet still colored in the same color as the fur and whatnot.

i mean come on. if you want a furry gf you want a FURRY GF. if there is nothing to floss with in those genitals you're a coward, fool and a knave, and this is a stone cold fact

the most cowardly thing i see in art with some regularity:

girly furries being drawn with mysteriously no body hair

sawbones: now, many people don't like cats because they are allergic to them -

me, thinking of the last time i saw a cat and was compelled to go make kissy noises, and dreaming of just putting my face in its fur even though i know that means a gunky nose and crusty eyes: ............hmm sounds fake

"what are han and chewie though" han is a jack russel terrier because of his amazing propensity to cause absolute chaos wherever he goes

chewie is just a dude

"but this is a furry au" yes exactly, so that means the furry-izing ray hits the wookiee and un-furries him instead of making double furry happen. chewie is just a dude. just a regular ass human in among all this shit. don't question me, this is obviously how it all makes sense.

at least in all of this nonsense, luke and leia are clear

leia is a siamese cat, and luke is a golden retriever.

i mean just look at them. it's obvious. luke skywalker IS a golden retriever. he doesn't quite understand what he is doing but he is a VERY good boye trying his BEST and that's the entire original trilogy summed up for you, you're welcome! meanwhile in the back somewhere leia has locked eyes with you and slowly pushed your drink off your desk

of course the real dick answer to this would be to just blight some poor commissioner's inbox

"hey, i want one shitty au darth vader from my fanfic but as a furry please! oh, he's a krayt dragon."

"a *what*"

"yeah we see a skeleton of one in a new hope but otherwise the appearance is a bit all over the map in the comics and whatever haha, here's your money and good luck lol!"

...but just to complicate things, i also have called the motherfucker "prince of cats" ("What, drawn and talk of peace? I hate the word..."), and keep describing him as leonine in appearance, or pantherlike in movement in upcoming chapters (since he's enjoying the fact that, uh, he can be sneaky)

...i think i may just like animal related metaphors too much for my own good

i'm leaning towards wolf or fox, even though that is cliche

it is a BIT difficult to figure out WHICH because i've already done art/done titles referencing him as "between reynard and ysengrin" - e.g. he used to be as darth vader ysengrin the wolf, fully invested in might-makes-right with the brute force of the empire behind him, but he is now reynard the fox, living by wit and cleverness first and foremost along with the rest of the rebel alliance...

i guess to fully infiltrate this space i need to decide what the hell animal my shitty au darth vader would be in furry form, and then commission art of that

me: wow i wonder why i have this itchy red patch on my back? i hope i'm not allergic to something like the cover of the chill pack i use for my shoulder!

my mom, looking at it: honey that's a chilblain

me: ......

my mom: you've been doing 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off, right?

me, remembering how i usually just slap it on there and then sit for like 2 hours: ..........uh...............................................

very important hot and spicy 💽 🐴 :

it's y'all, not ya'll

and i will defend this to my grave

....you could probably break skin with this if you had a sufficiently sharp toothpick or other toothpick-sized bolt....

....

....

"yeah i concealed carry" i say as i pull out my palm-sized crossbow, loaded with a sewing needle; "ow what the fuck" says the mugger, "goddamn what the hell, you know you can just get pepper spray right",

ok this little "free just pay shipping" crossbow that fires toothpicks? actually packs a surprising amount of punch. i was just able to fire a toothpick across the living room, into the hallway, with such force that it then ricocheted off the hallway wall