Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

so i have been playing this free to play mmorpg on the switch mostly out of morbid curiosity and by that i mean i'm softly going 'oh my god' at the sheer weeaboo levels

"harp it's a game made in japan how can it be weeb"

please see attached screenshot evidence.

this is advanced weebshit. this is weeb *jenkem*, my friends.

cw for some sort of fetish pileup who has a gun for a sword (i wish i was kidding), and a drunk catgirl so minimally clothed i am astounded

(arriving to a joke several years late:)

Dr. von Doom Decides To Shitpost On Mastodon (Colorized), 1957

concept:

mastodon instance but 'toot!' button is this image

𝓲 𝓭𝓲𝓭𝓷'𝓽 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓱𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮.

𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓱𝓲𝓶𝓮 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓶𝓮

(hime lolita voice) 𝓅𝓊𝓉 𝒶 𝒸𝓇𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝑜𝓃 𝒾𝓉.

𝐼 𝒮𝒜𝐼𝒟 𝒫𝒰𝒯 𝒜 𝐹𝒰𝒞𝒦𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝒞𝑅𝒪𝒲𝒩 𝒪𝒩 𝐼𝒯

i firmly believe that roald dahl was on to something when he wrote that no matter the shape of your face, if you are a good person, the goodness will pour out of you and you will be lovely

and honestly the two greatest examples of this are counter-examples.

what i'm saying, basically, is that every time i see jeffree star and anne coulter i am absolutely sure that they would be most at home climbing the ceiling at 4am to come eat my dog while ghoulishly screeching

like i would if i could! but i'm not... sure... why we were informed of this as a need-a-mod-immediately!!!! type problem......

it's touching to be considered that powerful but also i can't actually remote into your computer and block people on fb for you

i mean i could

but idk if you want me to do that because if you admit you have a problem starting shit on fb, i'm just going to delete your fb to solve that issue

like it's nice and all when someone assumes we mods are omnipotent but the reality is that being a mod of a discord server, and our power level on getting people banned from facebook, can be shown in the following graph

ah, time for today's Moderating Moment

"these users are being mean to me for saying i called them transphobic when i was just happy to be in a trans-friendly space"

ok i don't see the channel this is happening in, but tell me who it is and we'll deal with it

"oh it's in pms, here's what was written"

...ok this is not anyone on our server

"no it's on facebook"

ah...

"i started shit with them and now i'm scared :( do something about this mods pls"

...well, i have some bad news

ngl makeup application is probably the one thing that makes me grit my teeth and consider contact lenses/lasik or whatever

then i remember that my eyeballs don't like contact lenses (the inside of my eyelids start building up protein and it feels gritty and awful), and lasik might not even work/is expensive

but still

would be nice to be able to see more than like 8 inches from my face so i could BLEND MY FUCKING EYESHADOW

or if i could figure out how to put on falsies. that would also be good.

magnetic false eyelashes greatly appeal to me as a concept i just can't... maneuver the little motherfuckers

apparently blue eyeshadow is back on trend and people are groaning because it's easy to look 1980's tacky

however

i'm very pleased with this turn of events because if i put blue right next to my grey-blue eyes they actually look more blue than grey HOORAY

NOW IF ONLY MY EYELASHES WOULD GROW IN

if i were sitting at my desk trying to deal with marketing reports and janice's baby was crying while i was trying to be on the phone with clients for the 15th time that day, plus dealing with the dirty diaper smell and how it permeates living spaces so quickly, i

i would

probably quit on the spot

if not riot in some form or fashion

Who Thinks Casually Bringing The Newborn To An Office Job Is A Super Good Idea

listen despite not being particularly maternal i hasten to add i'm not a violent worst-of-r-childfree misanthrope. babies are fine.

however.

this week's dear prudence features a boss trying to deal with what to tell an employee who wants to just bring her newborn with her to the office job 9 to 5

ladies... gentlemen... distinguished persons... .........i do not know in what universe this idea is a good one. not just good, but preferable to working from home

my shoulder is still fucked, my ovary hurts, but at least i found people who have uploaded grenada sherlock holmes on youtube and have a free to play mmo thing on switch that is the most pure condensed essence of weeb i have ever seen

anyway thank you for coming to miss harpalyce wigglytuff's regularly scheduled sturr wurrs screaming

upcoming lectures include topics such as:

-leia needs a hug probably while she screams over unprocessed grief about alderaan

-padme amidala also had a rough absence-of-proper-childhood, just with better fashion

-luke and leia might've thought their dad was the daredevil dumbass full of bad ideas but nope they done got it from both ends!!!! sorry kids!!!!!!!!

-THE JEDI ORDER HAD IT COMING