Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

i have survived physical therapy, despite them running 30 minutes late ( ...o_<) and me skipping lunch so now i have a heavy afternoon snack of uhhhh

chex mix and what i can only describe as "gourmet slim jim"

OH RIGHT I SAW SOMETHING LATE LAST NIGHT

@eightbitsamurai@elekk.xyz you are likely way ahead of me here but, hear me out:

meloetta mint

please insert loud groaning and grumbling at having to go take a shower and go to physical therapy here

i mean look! look at this shit! look at how fucking fun it is!!!

cw for eye contact but also it's a teeny tiny paint roller you put on your highlighter with HOW GREAT IS THAT

also the kaja beauty brand stuff that's like. okayish makeup. but very gimmicky. and like.

do i want to stamp blush on my face in a little heart shape before blending it out?

do i want to roll highlighter on my cheekbones with a teeny fuckin paint roller?

YES. THE ANSWER IS YES

well now i'm distracted looking at makeup

all i want is the money to buy a bunch of fenty beauty and the spoons to be able to apply a full face of it every day...............

ok it may be petty but i'm linking the fucking thing so all y'all can see this and also make fun of it https://www.facebook.com/sephora/posts/10156954784454405

just. hire a black model (BUT MAKE SURE SHE'S LIGHT-SKINNED THO). have the shot be smearing foundation on her face (BUT MAKE SURE THE FOUNDATION'S TOO LIGHT FOR HER THO).

wow. much woke. so inclusive. good job on that everybody

(i mean jfc you know it's bad when my the-beacons-are-lit-gondor-calls-for-aid white ass goes OH THE CAUCASITY)

like even aside from all of the obvious institutionalized racism

i realize that i can only say that because i'm sitting upon a throne of privilege but bear with me

"we have foundations to match anybody!" is a message quickly undermined by "for example, see this model smearing CLEARLY THE WRONG SHADE FOR THEM ON THEIR FACE"

i couldn't resist making a snarky comment on facebook and now have gathered some likes from PoC but two very offended white people have shown up

WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING WHITE nothing karen it's just like bragging about how you have a very diverse menu where you can go around the world on just the apps and your idea of exotic is a hamburger... *with cheese on it*

WOW THAT'S THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK debbie i'm white as hell idk what you expect me to do about that. i still see bs tho

facebook keeps showing me a sephora ad where they're trying to brag they have new inclusive ~foundation shade for everyone~ going on

problem is

the PoC they are using in the commercial are all approximately the same shade of Medium Beige, smack in the middle of even non-inclusive foundation ranges. like, "can walk into a CVS 20 years ago no problem".

also the last model is smearing obviously too light foundation on her face to boot

Amazing.

or the most perilous option:

4. the UPS that my powered recliner is hooked up to runs out of power before the power comes back up, because i sat down and unthinkingly put my feet up. Whoops.

and then the power goes out

thanks UPS handling the internet modem

LET'S SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN FIRST:
1. UPS battery runs out
2. laptop battery runs out
3. power comes back

i wrote it as a joke but holy shit, "dwarven pro wrestling" is a fucking CHOICE fantasy concept

until my new joycons get here tomorrow (and i may potentially rue the build quality of third-party), i've been sticking to games that don't use the shoulder buttons (or if they do i can only use the one working one)

so that has meant

remembering that Stardew Valley is real good actually

as usual though after looking at the news, CALL ME LOT'S WIFE 'COS I BE SAAAALLLLTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY