Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

tfw you get Angery on facebook and end up writing 1.2k words about it

anyway Come Fight Me, Cousin-Whatever-Removed Who Sells Plexus 'Pink Drink'

me: wow my nose is clogged up again, this neti pot rinse will help. huh that's odd, i'm having to squeeze the bottle pretty hard to get the water thru, it must be VERY clogged -

[ audible plop as a half-dollar in diameter lump of green goo exits my nose and hits the sink ]

me: .... great! thanks! thanks so much,

honestly as a diabetic the amount of people who tell me i should do the keto diet is Too Damn High, and i need to smack all of them in the face with the wikipedia entry for diabetic ketoacidosis

so i may have gone on an extended rant on facebook about how most diets are just eating disorders with good press departments.

because they are. they really are.

especially keto. i'm fucking coming for you, keto. you're a load of bullshit, keto. fuck you, keto.

can one of y'all good at tech shit people PLEASE invent me a robot where i can lean in, rest my head on a chin strap or whatever like i'm at the optometrist's office, and it'll measure whatever and paint on winged eyeliner when i close my eyes

P L E A S E

I WEAR GLASSES SO I CAN BARELY SEE WHAT I'M DOING WITH THEM OFF *AND* I GOT SHAKY HANDS SOMETIMES

how the FUCK does eyeliner work

man now that there's mahjong i need to get my mom to play ffxiv

and by that i mean i'll get her leveled to 15 and then she can spend all her time in the golden saucer LOL

because i'm sick as hell and don't want to share this shit with my psych but also want to serve some looks

...

not enough to figure out my magnetic lashes tho

so, the hot makeup tips for working around a face mask is to go all out with your eyes, right

so last night my dog tucked herself in VERY cutely, even making a pile of blankets into a pillow for her head

i tried to capture this cuteness

instead i got some highly relateable moods.

#hollypls #dogsofmastodon #dog #pupper #MOOOOOMTURNOFFTHEFLAAAAAASHIMTRYINGTOSLEEEEEEEP

a thing that happened yesterday that i just now remembered to post:

urgent care doc: how have your blood sugars been running with this cold?

me: honestly just kinda same as usual, running in the 90s or so when i wake up

me: ....

me: (DESPERATELY KEEPING STRAIGHT FACE AS MIND FILLS WITH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ0xBCwkg3E )

i just remembered we have salsa

this is probably a terrible decision given the awful state of my throat but also MAYBE I CAN BURN THE SICKNESS OUT?

here's a very good video of my dog getting a cookie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_85Tsjk-SEM

i just misread a post as "quinoa golem" which is a FANTASTIC rock band name

pupdate: dog forgave me for getting up again but not before pointedly staring at me while trying to make a nest on top of my purse where i had laid her favourite (and MY favourite) blanket, approximately 6 inches away from her actual dog bed with her blanket in it.

now she's sitting on me while staring at my dad eating cheese-its

may my dog, who also just got cozy, forgive me for my 'but i want poptarts' related sins

....the infinite sorrow of getting cozy, reaching for your snack, and then remembering

you forgot to actually acquire your snack when you were up

i guess the takeaway is just that i'm gonna try to stay humble and not be a fucken asshole, and those are pretty good goals i think.

idk my dudes it's about all i got