Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

as long as i'm at this level of gratuitous self-promo i may as well post these links and then flop headfirst into bed

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1013278/PlaidButterfly is the ff.n, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harpalyce/pseuds/Harpalyce is the ao3

masquerade is my pet fic, more of it is on ff.n than ao3 because i just kinda cry when i try to port it over out of being mad i can't write more of it but ANYWAY

I WON'T CLAIM THAT IT'S GOOD FANFIC, JUST THAT IT'S... THERE?

and here we go, here's the fanfic's 'cover'

i know once i've done a cover for a fic i'm just like 'whelp that's it, i'm writing it now, i'm doomed, bye everyone, the plot bunny has me'

BIG CW for suicide - empty noose is shown.

very little cw for an obnoxious shade of green i thought was a good idea at the time and my inability to draw short-haired scruffy older auror harry potter without him looking like Jeremy Renner for some got dam reason

HERE, HERE'S THE PICTURE I WENT DIVING IN MY ARCHIVES FOR

voldemort and all his got dam kids that end up in this fic

he doesn't raise any of 'em at all, they essentially existed as 'spare parts'

ok he tried with fr. makary a bit but the lad promptly grew up and rebelled hard in the exact opposite direction and WILL, DANGEROUSLY, IMMEDIATELY, invite you in for tea or a cup of hot cocoa and show you genuine christian charity and love (THAT BOY AIN'T RIGHT - voldie probably)

cw for eye contact

also here's Ginny, Ron and Hermione

ginny could use another latte (full fat milk please, quidditch practice is getting intense for the holyhead harpies)

ron could use either some beard oil or a shave before he blazes past Fixer-Upper's Chip Gaines into Full Lumberjack

hermione could use a shoulder massage and an eyeglass cleaning wipe if you've got one handy

anyway to sell you on this fic

here is an illustration for an eventual later chapter where, after visiting Fr. Makary, aka Makary Riddle, one of Voldemort's kids who rebelled against his dad so hard he ended up a man of the cloth, Auror Harry Potter stops to have a cigarette and a chat in the church gardens with the snake that lives there, Shine-Scale, Hunter Of Voles, Best Frog-Grabber, Protector Of Church Man Who Gives Mice.

but now i have, and basically that means i've run into the "auror harry potter" tag screaming NO! NO THERE IS NO DRARRY HERE! YOU WILL GET YOUR MAGIC DETECTIVE WORK AND YOU WILL LIKE IT! GOOD DAY SIR! I SAID! GOOD! DAY!

ALSO I HOPE YOU LIKE OCS THAT ARE ALL VOLDEMORT'S NEGLECTED KIDS BECAUSE OH BOY I HAVE SO MANY OF THEM.

i expect this to go over like a molotov cocktail

do you know that all this time i've been wondering why this fic wasn't getting any comments on ao3

was because

i had not actually posted it on ao3.

good news: did a write

bad news: did a write so hard, nearly two hours overdue for pain meds,

oh come on there is no way that i've only ended up writing 2400 words, it seems SO MUCH LONGER god

ok ok ok i guess 5 pages is about fair

aaaaaaaa actually doing a write thank fuck

all aboard the badly written harry potter angst train toot toot

this is the first time my writing brain has appeared since about end of january and i sure am fuck leaping on that chance

so if you've never heard it before, i would urge you to take a moment and listen to the Hammond Song by the Roches

it's folk-ish but there's something... oddly beautifully transcendent about it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09ypwCN9FDc

also while i'm sad my feet got ouchy and scuffed, at least i have cream to use up to put on them

so pro life tip: put hand cream you don't like on your feet, then put some socks on so it soaks in

but also the burt's bees orange blossom and pistachio is a severe disappointment. apparently "orange blossom and pistachio" to their scent team means "bad fakey orange candy scent, not the good stuff, but like the orange fruit flavored tootsie rolls that are bullshit"

honestly foley work makes the best trivia, especially for star wars

ben burtt does not get as much recognition as he should for tying it all together to really make star wars - forgive me for this overdone word choice though i would argue it actually applies here - truly iconic

and you can learn trivia like jabba the hutt's slurping is actually ben burtt fondling some mac and cheese! who doesn't love such trivia?!

man there's a flap in the comments over on a slate article about whether or not all clear heels are "stripper heels"

and like

momentarily putting aside the misogyny and disdain for sex workers and performers there

IF YOU THINK THESE SHOES ARE 'STRIPPER HEELS' YOU'VE ONLY SEEN SOME REAL BORING-ASS STRIPPERS.

anyway that's enough glancing at the news, if i keep this up i will remember all the politicians going "oh yes well trump did a very bad thing, and it was bad, but we can now all move on past it without any consequences given to him" and explosively hulk out in rage

christ, trump actually is taking a position i agree with

even a broken clock is right twice a day i suppose

he's still an absolutely abominable human being but i hope this makes another sliver of his loonies decide they can't remain in the trump cult now that he's flip-flopped to vaccines good actually

if i had my druthers about me today and more than negative one spoons, i would be a good cis ally by working on that sappho border print for lolita fashion that i floated at the mod of the lolita discord server i'm on LOL