Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

me: don't make another roe alt you got 2 you ain't playing. don't make another roe alt you got two -

also me: SAY HI TO DOMAN ROEGADYN SUTE NO KUZUMOTO, EVERYBODY

the doman reconstruction storyline.... is so good ;o; #ffxiv

today in #ffxiv : i noticed a ninja afk for most of syrcus tower, wondered where he was. he finally came back for amon, got snippy when i joked about how i was glad he hadn't fallen in a toilet.

then his buddy - both of them mentors, lol - made sure that 1. the ice block i was hiding behind in amon got dissolved last minute, 2. told me "I hope you know I fucking hate you. Just FYI.", among other comments along the way, as we exited.

wow somebody hella salty at not being afk-carried lol

my doctor: well, you're due for a sleep study to see if your sleep apnea device is working, so -

me: can i show you my pokemon from pokemon sleep instead

me: this one's very good and round

my doctor: ......shit yeah, he is real good and round huh, i'll just put that down as a pass then

waiting for jojo to get around to my musical interests with a new stand that's bjork

i don't mean one of her songs. like Army Of Me or It's So Quiet. no i mean the anime has someone just straight-up summoning bjork the actual person as their stand

me: okay brain, time to do things

my brain: [wii shop channel music]

these face makeup brushes i got that have pink bristles and green handles with cups made to look like a rose stem so it's like flowers are, perhaps, not the most professional and objectively best makeup brushes

but fuck i love em

right, headache, are you coming or going or what. either hurry up and give me an aura so you can properly get your migrainey dick out or get outta here

i need to email Sawbones my suggestion that they cover folic acid and the MTHFR gene

but also my second suggestion that after they cover the motherfucker gene on their no-cussing show, they should have a special anti-candlenights show where they just do, like, all the fucken cussing. all of it.

anyway i've now got the pirates who don't do anything song stuck in my head so that's probably appropriate penance and retribution for just sermonizing this mornernoon

at the end of the day, people are people. sometimes they get things right. sometimes they get things wrong.

but remember always that they are real people on the other side of the keyboard, as best you can. the internet does a stunningly good job of dehumanizing; no faces to see, no voices to hear, just words on a screen.

sometimes, pushing back against that is important.

...

and that's about all i got /shrug

similarly, recognizing somebody's concerns as a moderator is you acknowledging that agency of them coming to you to report a problem, and their genuine reaction of having a problem. keeping it all behind closed doors unfortunately reads as dismissal - often belittling the problem and robbing them of agency to problem-solve (since you just dismissed there was a problem at all).

and both situations kinda have the same solution, honestly:

recognizing the agency of another person.

screenshot dunking not only sets a person up for harassment, but it robs them of the opportunity to be seen as a proper part of that conversation. it steals away the agency for them to put their ideas in context, or defend them appropriately - while still being forced to be directly part of that conversation with no wiggle room.

but sometimes the better part of valor is de-escalating the situation so that it doesn't blow up in everyone's faces.

often when you de-escalate, you can actually get somebody realizing that their complaint is off-base initially, too, and apologising for it.

basically good moderating depends on being good at working with people, and willing to do that 'customer service' role.

basically, understand that you're at the customer service desk, and right now someone is upset. a little validation and understanding will go a long way to making them feel heard, their concerns respected, and re-frame the problem from Them vs. Do-Nothing Admin to, instead, Them And The Admins vs. The Problem, which is where you want to be.

i'm not saying, by the way, that the customer is always right.

well, looking like these dudes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaWU1CmrJNc

getting the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything in response to a problem is understandably upsetting, even when the mods really are doing something, they're just not saying what they're doing.

sometimes it's valuable to de-escalate by letting people in the door and saying "i understand your concerns and i'm working on it right now".

i've seen both sets of pitfalls kill online communities, if i'm being honest. both can be misused.

but what happened recently, i think, was an example of how sometimes a view of privacy can end up backfiring.

admin and mods, in people-wrangling by answering reports, are basically in a customer service job. if things are all done behind closed doors, while this is more discrete, it can also mean that the mods end up looking like...