Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

yay i finally got around the weird escort bit of BOTW i got locked into by accident, and now i can finally do what i want to do once more:

faff about aimlessly

i've also reached the level of bitter where i'm going to start responding to all of these "update please!!!!!" type comments on my fanfiction with the truth

namely, it will be updated when i'm not in constant agony.

is this a bitch move? probably. will i make people uncomfortable? probably. however my spoonie ass is tired of getting a whole lot of fucking guilt trips from people who want to be entertained for zero fucking dollars and are demanding about it

hello masto

i stole this from twitter for you

PRO TIP: that first paragraph of a secret world style lore entry befuddling you?

just use bjork lyrics for half of it!

it's fine! it totally works! nobody will notice!*

*until you tell them

because writing lore profiles for your #ffxiv characters in the style of The Secret World's lore entries ( https://wiki.crygaia.org/view/Lore ), is, uhhhhhhh, totally logical, right?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SASpPpX65A--A1olxd6siy40YYd7ce18FTUSXYUFZk4/edit?usp=sharing

my one still remaining brain cell: please. nobody will care or understand if you write The Secret World style lore entries for your FFXIV characters. nobody will get it. nobody! please don't waste your time and creative energy on this

me: but what if ...........i did anyway

just a shameless retoot/reply to this thread as a reminder that if i'm on the money with this BOTW 2 theorizing, i am going to be so incredibly smug, i will transcend my physical form and dominate at least six other dimensions in smuggery

me: well i'm just above celeb drama. i try not to indulge in that, you know

also me: *cues up the 8th video about jacklyn hill's hairy mouldy lipsticks, gets another bowl of popcorn*

right whose fursona is this

(picture from We Rate Dogs on facebook, as i am a hack)

listen, i don't know LoZ lore, i'm stretching so much you can call me stretch armstrong, and yet

SURPRISINGLY PLAUSIBLE, I FEEL.

"everyone needs to move forward, because that's how the kingdom will survive and thrive. if you aren't going to move yourselves, though, then i'm going to make you consider the changes."

and ironically that's the same moral that zelda possibly guides the-remains-of-true-champion-ganon to - "living in the past to excess is hurtful. then is not now. begin again."

if this is zelda's test to show she is actually committed to not just repeating the past, there's a point there.

also perhaps the idea of... hyrule of this time rebuilding, but being stuck in the "well back in the glory days". maybe hijacking the divine beasts and guardians was also to say, "y'all can't just rely on shit done thousands of years ago forever and ever. this reliance is holding hyrule back."

what if he's dancing to ganon's tune now? and the ultimately kinda good cause is that we get to reveal how ganon made such strides to break the cycle - a ganon who has a paarthurnax moment, of being good not by birth, but by great effort - only to be betrayed? sure, it's extreme methods, but "a ruler who would betray her dearest friend like that is not fit to rule a kingdom" is also... kind of a good point.

what if the parallels coming up with twilight princess are in the whole... link-is-not-himself. usually he gets to stay human. in twilight princess (if i've got the different games right HNERF) he gets turned into a dog as sort of like... almost faery realm logic, or purgatory, even

he gets pulled into serving a shadowy force, whether he wants to or not. he can put up a token resistance but ultimately, it's dancing to midna's tune

and is he now making zelda prove herself different now, as to break his cycle of rage? is this a test to make zelda - and her kingdom - show that she is worthy of existing, instead of just repeating the same pattern of willingly sacrificing the champion for a momentary break?

if we have an incarnation of ganondorf that grew up gerudo, fought his destiny, and then... realized at the last moment there was only one way to keep the curse contained, and that was sacrificing himself... willingly or unwillingly...

is he so angry now because he remembers a thousand years ago, being made champion, fighting side by side with a princess... who shoved him into the darkness to save herself...?

why's there a shrivelled human form in the ruins?

is it ganon? or is it the remains of ganon after becoming host to an entity that wants to torment link and zelda forever?

and what better way to torment them than to hijack link's body, and drive zelda mad knowing she has to be the one to kill link?

(it might even be with the similarity in haircuts that we play zelda pretending to be link and doing a lot of WE'VE GOT IT ALL HANDLED CITIZENS DON'T PANIC and/or having to rebuild trust and ties after it all goes to hell.)

if the deep lore is that this entity is supposed to be because Demise (from Skyward Sword) cursed Link and Zelda to torment them forever - thus we have Ganon in all LoZ games - and if Calamity Ganon was supposed to have given up his human form...