Harp the Wigglytuff @wigglytuffitout@computerfairi.es

also there's a ffxiv ship i am on board spelled out for you: cid and nero are totally Oh, They Fuckin'. https://twitter.com/prozd/status/998647988510748672?lang=en

happy Look At My Catgirl o'clock everyone! #ffxiv

cw for eye contact i think? i mean close enough

so this is a thing that exists for people who have enjoyed HBO's Chernobyl https://youtu.be/TA9WQrWLnK4

i'm not trying to do the "i win the oppression olympics" thing at all but can i just say, as a disabled person who is too physically disabled to go out and protest, and too busy dealing with mental health to go to the frontlines even electronically, as well as not having money to donate, that right now it very much sucks to be powerless to resist against current events

well i looked at the news so i'm going to hope this reality tv show about a mortuary in new zealand is good to distract me from working myself up further

whenever anyone mentions they're having/just had their wisdom teeth removed, i burst in like some mixture of the kool-aid man and fairy godmother, yelling REMEMBER TO NOT USE STRAWS AND TAKE A LAXATIVE N O W PLEASE JUST TRUST ME ON THAT

wait. wait. hold on. i just had a revelation, @Sapphicgiraffic@snouts.online

normal brain: making OCs that are the same as you

big brain: making OCs that are your kink

GALAXY BRAIN: making OCs that are Same and then having them also enact Kink as self-affirmation that you are worthy of having your needs and desires fulfilled

please don't look too closely at this base post and then all of my fanfiction with romantic purposes in them because i definitely have just completely exposed myself here

i mean is it really romance unless there's at least one "listen i know you're really sick and were literally on death's door just a short while ago but also we can't keep our hands off each other so if you just lay back and try to stay still it's fine right????????" scene

"DID YOU JUST CUM SO HARD YOU PASSED OUT FOR A HOT MINUTE OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I HAD FUCKED YOU TO DEATH!!!!!!" "worth it lol" optional but ultimately recommended

THANK YOU FOR ATTENDING THIS EPISODE OF: HARP WRITES SOME HORNY SHIT, "SUB ZENOS MIND BREAK" EDITION

stay tuned for next week, where sex pollen descends on the battlefield and the warrior of light watches in disbelief as zenos violently fucks his golfbag full of swords! "what am i, chopped liver?! for fuck's sake can i get a hand at least?!"

listen. we all know, deep within our hearts, that leia organa is the woman that, in another destiny, would be the most terrifying PTA president any world has ever seen.

and that luke skywalker is definitely the one who thinks his incense totally covers up the weed smell but in fact it just smells like incense and also weed.

han's the one growing the weed.

or rather he thinks he did, chewie goes out there every night to actually do the horticulture bc he's the one good at it, but doesn't tell

i expect to get swarmed for falling for copaganda at any moment for this but i would just like to state

columbo is the greatest detective show of all time

don't at me i know i am right

status report: i regret to inform you all that i will not be amusingly high due to lingering effects of meds because those sumbeyotches used every minute i had while chemically told to Calm Down to take far more extensive MRIs

my shoulder is having the lidocane wear off a bit and it is Noticing that A Fair Quantity Of Contrast Dye was Injected Into It. and it is also Noticing that the last set of MRI pictures was With My Hand Over My Head in its Least Favourite Position. so: aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA

anyway me and my new gudetama cream cheese hand cream need to fuck off to bed so

Goodnight Fediverse

that english major feeling when you look at your own fanfic and go "well shit" honestly

see also the chapter of my autobiography entitled I Swear Every Time I Write Darth Vader I Don't MEAN To End Up Making A Point About Euthanasia And Quality Of Life It Just HAPPENS Somehow OKAY Please Stop Judging Me So Harshly

anyway the botw fic idea is still simmering in my head

the bad news is that "just some simple ot3 hurt/comfort" has grown into a massive monster with, like, Actual Plot N' Shit, how dare it???

the worse news (?) is that i'm pretty sure the main plot point that is revealed is a thinly veiled scathing indictment of baby boomers screwing over future generations and i'm not Quite Sure how to Feel about That just Up And Happening in the middle of a fic about legend of zelda.

i am a woman of simple wants, and among them is the desire to just bury my face in hien's chest hair.

listen. we all know he is hiding some primo fluff.

and we all know that he's got one of those natural scents of Hnngh Good Man Musk that you can take hits of like a fucken bong.

i mean look at him.

basically every waking moment he is not here cuddling me is an injustice.